the h2g2 Space-Farer's Cantina
Created | Updated Mar 18, 2003
The Cantina is where the disreputable people can be found. Not the scientists, not the explorers, but the bounty hunters, murderers, outlaws and gunrunners. If you need someone eliminated by a skilled assassin, or an illegal shipment of arimeshte slipped passed a Federation blockade by an experienced smuggler, this is the place to find the man you need.
A casual veiwer might at first sight take the many ships here to be clapped out wrecks on their last feet. Do not be taken in. These ships are some of the best, fastest, and most heavily armed in the Galaxy. Their pilots are the elite of their class.
There's an "official" list of smugglers for prospective customers to peruse - get yourself added to it.
| Name | Title |
| Krans | Astro-engineer, weapons-designer, galactic outlaw, and all-round nice guy, Krans is one of the cantina's owners, presidents-for-life, Chief Executioners, and judges. he presides over everything with his iron fist. Ahem. :-)... Krans may be found lurking in the cantina, or the BigC space station. He's a first-rate weapons designer... (hint, hint) |
| Njan | Njan is the other owner, president-for-life, Chief Executioner, and judge, of the cantina.. He also presides, although he doesn't have an iron fist... he has a big white fluffy cat instead. Njan also designs weapons, but is more frequently found in the cantina, argueing (something at which he excels). Njan is the resident Head smuggler |
| MarvtheGrate | Marv is the cantina's head mercenary.. En plus, he is 'Destroyer of worlds' (apparantly), and the 2nd fastest gun in the quadrant. (second only to Ordrek the Impaler, who is currently in a state of quantum flux after flying too close to a class Omega temporal anomaly) |
| Ox | Ox is our bar attendant. Oh, and those rumours of him dealing in contraband have never been proven. |
| Lynne | Bartender. Also specialises in security and weapons. not to be trifled with. (No rice pudding or other desert-related jokes, please. :) |
In the deep shadows of the bar's table alcoves, many a dodgy deal is negotiated over a glass of spice liqeur. Or any other drink from nearly the every one of the explored stars (and some unexplored ones, but that's a secret), because this bar is famous for its wide range of beverages. Some of the locals drop in for a drink sometimes, because although the atmosphere here is very secretive, the patrons are friendly most of the time. Well, some of the time.
The numerous pirates of this quadrant are currently recruiting mercenaries, and the more the merrier. Whether outlaws on the run or trained assassins, there's a job for everyone. And for people with a price on their head, this is not the place to be; bounty hunters lurk in every corner.
The ArmouryThe pirates know this is the only place to come for weaponry. From the most devastating of battlecruiser weaponry, to stunguns small enough to be hidden in a fingernail, you can buy it here from those experts in weaponry design, Njan and Krans.
Special offer: spend 5 million cratilmes or more here, and receive a free skimmer (while stocks last)!
Click here for a full listing of some of the more... interesting... weapons that we have stocked here, from as far away as Beta Prime and as close as the cupboard Krans and Njan build their toys in.
The Staff RoomCurrently we have openings for:
- Bar Attendants
- Security Personnel
- Space Traffic Controllers
+ numerous other postings: apply in the forum...The Fleet
The Cantina, being one of the major technological centres of the h2g2 universe, has its own small, elite fleet. We're always looking for ship captains to join, should they dare, but minimum qualifications include the ability to take apart a type 3 topalian plasma cannon in under two minutes, and put it back together in the same time. (Our record's 12 seconds, but Krans didn't manage to put it back together again: Sledgehammers are uni-directional).
Our primary quart ship listing is below. We feel it outstrips anything that anyone else has to offer, but we're always open for challenges.
Capital ship: GSV (Mountain Class): "Incorrect Catachresis"
Weapons Complement: Internal (Undisclosed)
External: 4,000 ROU (Rapid Offensive units) (Type 3) held in internal bays
5,000 ROU (Rapid Offensive Units) (Type 4) held in internal bays
10 GCU (General Contact Units) (militant) held in external tractor.
2 RPOs (Re-packaged Orbitals) (Militant)
Weapons Complement: Undisclosed
50 MSVs (medium Systems Vehicles)
2,000 GCUs (General Contact Units)
11,000 ROUs of varying types (In storage: 4ms seek time, and 40ms total (staggered) activation time. Deployment time peaks at 100ms for a 2ly area.
