h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Reappears*

Hi!

Um... what do you prefer? We do all sorts... what about a Mk 2 magnetorifle? Or if you want to be ordinary, we have just about every sort of projectile weapon... from crossbows to 20mm cannon.

Or bladed weapons, if you prefer. Along with all the usual body armour, comms gear, grenades etc.

Just tell me what you need!

Hmmm. ok...

By any chance, would you have:
~ A Stun-O-Matic 3000
~ A Plasma personified weapon deflector
~ Some stun Grenades
~ Sleeping Gas
~ Something to put my cative in


And also, what's that MK2 Magnetorifle?

J.J

I'm afraid we don't have any Plasma-branded shields in stock, though we do have a very nice MacroPRT A-14 personal shield which is quite similar, and more economically priced... would that do?

*Goes to racks of weaponry*

Right... a case of six flashbangs... a spraycan of SnoozeFast... and a Stun-O-Matic 3k...

And here's some rope.

The Mark 2 Magnetorifle is a DPW variant that uses intense magnetic fields to project a 4 microsecond plasma burst at about 8000 metres per second. It's only got an effective range of roughly 500m though because the plasma dissipates quite rapidly. Want to try one out?

Thanks!
*Takes weaponry*
Can I get one of those magnetorifles? They sound nasty...

J.J

That'll be... $4360 for that lot please.

You can open an account, but if it isn't cleared in twelve months we send a bounty hunter after you.

And yes, we do accept American Express.

Thanks!
Could I open an account, please?

J.J

Sure!

Computer, open a new account, name of Justin. And merge with any currently available data.

[Computer]: Merge complete. 3.2 GB of data consolidated.

There you go. Good hunting with that little lot...

right, hello. I need a nice sniper rifle and a powerful sidearm, can you recommend anything?

I also need a full complement of grenades, you know, HE, smoke, flashbang, tear gas.

Do you still stock gel suits? they're really useful.

And I'll have a set of your most expensive lightweight bulletproof body armour.

Oh, and some 3mm cord, preferably black, and also VERY strong please.

And a couple of carabinas.

And a webbing with all the necessary straps please.

Thanks

Okay... and do you want chips with that?

*Starts dragging things out of cupboards*

what are your current 'copter stocks please?

There's a TwoTronics TT-414 Gyrocopter parked in Bay 212 you might like to look at. And my custom hoverplatform. Check them out.

I can probably build something to order if you tell me what you need...