h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

you... buh... buh... I loved that ion drive! ... ah well. *thinks*

*strikes upon a lovely idea*

*dives into the systems bay under the floor of the cockpit and starts fiddling with the NavComp*

It's still sitting over there! *points* You really shouldn't get so attached to your ship parts.

ah. ok.

*takes it apart and makes it into manoevering thrusters*

there. The only shuttle into the world to have plasma drive manoevering thrusters. At least it'll be great at dodging asteroids, or other incoming city-sized projectiles.

*loads up the Nav Comp diagnostic, downloading the eccentricities onto a card* This oughta be fun. *loads the card into the nearest sim and programs for Asteroid Field. Sure enough, not a single hit was sustained*

try this... *Njan amplifies the asteroid mean energy, increases the population of asteroids, and increases fragmentation*

run that.

*runs it, and still manages no severe damage, although he did need to use his plasma cannon to blow away some asteroids*

*walks back in with a rusty screwdriver and starts taking things apart*

What are ya doing that for?

Hey, we all have to do something.

Nice to see you've been doing some work while I've been away.

*Starts fabricating new hull armour from light-weight nano-composites*

*grins broadly*

I feel naked without my screwdriver.

Right. Time to test the armour and windshield. Bulletproof glass, as you might know, is tested in sledgehammer seconds: The number of seconds it takes an average person to smash through it with a sledgehammer. Jet cockpits are tested in sledgehammer hours. I wonder what this baby'll clock up.

*takes a large sledgehammer out of a cupboard*

*walks over to the shuttle, brings it up, and brings the sledgehammer down onto the windshield hard*

*the sledgehammer shatters*

Damn.

*takes out a laser hammer and trys to smash it. It simply grows legs and runs off*

Hey! That was expensive! I'd rather you didn't try to smash it.

*Pulls out terminal and runs full systems check on the new electronics*

*gets into cockpit and starts preflight checkups*

hello, where are you off to, then?

And has KID really taken over our GSV?

What do /you/ think?

Don't worry, he won't get very far without any fuel... mwahahahaha!

Krans, how's the hullplating coming? I check out on everything else.
*starts making some fine-tuning adjustments to the hyperdrive and ion-pulse drive*

And the Kid has been taken care of.

It's our (ostensibly my) GSV, and it's NOT being taken over. The mind'd never allow it.

Besides, it's only playing with all of us: it's, technologically, more advanced than anything I even begin to understand. If anyone really tried anything dodgy with it, it'd displace them to Alpha Prime.

*helps Krans with the hullplating* [over comms] Axe, if you wouldn't mind some help with the fueling, we'd appreciate it.

*walks in*

OK, what do you need me to do?