h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As long as DNA doesn't get a vote this time, I'll be happy.

*pours from handy barrel*

Well, as long as no-one nominates him...

Also calls for a lot of --()-()-- ....

Oh, boy, am I gonna get it now, or what.... Oh, boy....
Sorry. Just couldn't resist. I'm a sexist pig, I know. But what can you do (as a man, that is)?
I think I'll have some of the cI_I and knock myself out before the more irated members of the community do that for me...

Good idea PhilFogg - I think I'll join you.

HICKUPPP.... What....?
Oh, all right. There you go cI_I.
Hey, what's this.... A tiny barrel, made of gold..... What's in it, I wonder? Is this a skull and crossbones?
This cellar is full of surprises... But then, it's British pub we broke into, isn't it?

That's true - and a timeless ever-existing British Pub...
Is that a preist-hole over there???

Lessee if we can't open the thing.
*looks at barrel, then hands it to BB*
Here, why don't you try....

Thanks.
*Gets out crowbar*
Seems stuck...

*picks up stick of dynamite left over from previous break-in*
Wanna try this?

Yeah, why not - I just hope this barrel isn't a powder keg

Powder keg? In a pub? If you please.
*worried look*
But who knows.... Whatever the content of this thing, it might proof to be much, much worse than powder....

If this pub was once used by smugglers and pirates 300 years ago - it is quite near the sea, remember - then it could well be powder...
*See: http://www.h2g2.com/A416918
for location of the F&F. *

Hmm... I see.... It is quite close to the fish pond, you're right about that.
Oh well, time for lunch. I'm gonna get some pizza.
Meanwhile, you can try and figure out a way to open this thing without blowing your arms off.
Well.... Better yours than mine, I suppose...

Just not the golden barrel, you don't know what you are doing.

You know... You seem to know an awful lot about this place. Interesting.
Hmmm.....

I own it.

Oh.

Well, the current landlord anyway.

Except the beach - that's Mine!!!
ha aha ha ha ha hah haggghhhh!!! *evil laugh*

Hmm... sorry...

Wait a minute.... Aren't beaches considered public property, or what?