h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why don't you???? ;-P

Don't worry... I think that the scratching is just Kitty...
See:
http://www.h2g2.com/U115655
to meet Kitty.
Is it the tentacle, Menza?

'if you want to end it all, why don't you go and see what was making the noise?' Well, personally, I'm not too keen on ending it all. I'm too young and beautiful to die. Well, too young anyway.

Well done BB, you finally got it.

*hands Kitty a cake*

That should keep us safe...

*Peregrin taps an ominous-looking barrel. It has no name of beverage stamped or chalked on it, just some runes carved into the metal rim. Peregrin fills his tin mug*

Mmm, this looks nice. What is it, Menza?

*takes a swig*

Ummmm, well its a bit late now. But I was going to warn you not to drink that.

. . .

Thats the slop barrel.

Well, what have we over here? What's this golden barrel, Menza?

Shhhhh, that ones a secret.

It isn't some of BluDragon's special Royal Brew, is it??? Wow!!!

I assume those barrels with the label "Danger - Radioactive" is the Health Warning?

. . .

*Peregrin starts turning turqoise*

. . .

*A look of terror briefly passes over his frozen features*

. . .

*Peregrin starts shrinking*

I think Peregrin's got a problem....
Should we help him, or just get drunk?
(difficult choice!)

I'll see what the Guide has to say about this.
*Opens the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, and reads:*
"Don't Panic"
Well, looks like we ignore him, and just get drunk.

*Peregrin is now about two inches tall*

*He squeaks:* Hey! Somebody do something! I'm suffering here. I mean, how thoughtless can you get? Come on, fill a thimble or something! These pint glasses are way too big for me now.

Anybody hear anything? - No?
Thought so.
*looks at the floor*
Ughh.... I think they got cockroaches down here. This is disgusting. Should I step on this one or be merciful? Any animals' rights activists among you??

*squeek* Yes, me!

And Enigmatic Cockroach might have a few words with you too!

*jumps into a pint of bitter and swims around happily*

Just think though, a night out just got very cheap for you.

Well... yes... shame really since we're getting all this free.

Or, at least, if you try to charge us, we've got a decent escape route.

That route better be good. Imagine what this will cost us.
What Enigmatic Cockroach, by the way?