h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*takes rear guard, occasionally checking through scope of P90*

*fans out to the right studying the ground ahead of himself and humming quietly under his breath*

*looks at jack*
is that the theme tune to the littlest hobo you humming?

Shhh... both of you!

*Comes to the open pit of the mine.*

Alright Pete, as a private you get the great privilage of going in first.

cool
*stowes P90 and unslings G36 and flicks on gun mounted torch*

Just in case.

*brings rifle up to shoulder and heads into mine.*

*cups his hands around is mouth*

See anything down there?

yes
rock. lots and lots of rock.

*cracks open glow stick*

you guys coming?

*shrugs*

Rather not.

Do you see anyone?

*pushes LeRue towards the entrance* go on scary cat, I'll sew anything you lose back on

*shouts back from mine*

JUST USE A STAPLE GUN.

*winces*

Sssssh!

*looks around*

Was I lied to when I was told it was bad to yell like that in mines? </>

Arrgghhh

*a swarm of bats come flying out of the mine*

yes that was why.

I thought that we should probably be more afraid of having a huge collapse that traps us all hundreds of feet below the surface of the earth in a choking cloud of death, or maybe the damp gas that could explode and kill us all by burning all the skin off our bodies so that our last smell is that of one of roasting flesh...

... or I could be just reading too much into it...

Yeah I rekon I have.

*heads in*

its ok major i can hold your had if you want?

*Shoots ultrapete a look that would melt lead.*

I've been caving since before you were toilet trained. But the main idea is to find refugees!

*ducks back out of the cave*

Got a feeling Private Petey was talking to me there, so dont kill him just yet, if there are any flesh eating monsters down here we'll need him, we throw him at them and run away quickly.