h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A moon rich in mineral deposits

<May I make a suggestion? Since this is a moon, can it have low gravity? That might mean minerals in different phases that we don't normally see at the surface and life forms adapted to lower gravity- airy things, huge birdlike creatures and insects, tall plants uninhibited by weight restrictions...?)

*On the other side of the Stargate is a low-gravity world, apparently covered with grass. However, on closer examination, the "grasses" are actually mosses that grew to unusual heights when free from the confines of earthlike gravity. Grazing on this somewhere in the distance are graceful antelope-like creatures the size of elephants. A forest of larger plant life is further in the distance at the foot of a mountain ridge. Large flying animals and insects flit over the entire scene. At the moment, skies are clear, and the gas giant the planet orbits can be seen just over the horizon opposite the sun. Days only last about 10 Earth hours here.*

*The stargate opens on the above scene, and Major Scandrea emerges with Dr. Felsner. They take a couple of shuffling bouncing steps.*

[S] Ah! Low gee!

[DF] Or how to lose 50 lbs in ten minutes!

*They both laugh at the geek joke.*

*Fretts bounds through the portal*

Great. Low gravity. Today gets better.

*Private Hough comes through the gate next and uncermoniusly falls over*

[S] *Supresses a snicker* Well, shall we get started? I think the best place to set up a base camp would be about 1 km that way *points toward the mountains*. It'd be easiest for field work.

*A dragonfly-like bug the size of a parakeet hovers next to her shoulder for a moment, then flits off.*

*hauls hough up*

You heard the lady. Take point, I'll escort these two. Keep an open chanel.

*hough heads on*

*Scandrea and Dr. Felsner start walking. A few deer-creatures sniff in their direction, but go back to grazing the super-moss.*

*After some time, they come to a relatively flat spot at the base of some tree-sized ferns.*

This looks as good a spot as any...

*The graceful antelope creatures turn as a herd to look at the small beings in the distance. They begin to trickle towards the strange things to take a look at them, trotting along lightly on long spindly legs*

*fretts looks at it through the scope of his rifle*

*Looks at Fretts.*

If it's not charging, don't shoot. Got that, Major?

*The herd moves down through the nearby hills and gradually circles round the group of humans wiffling at each other through their noses with high fluting sounds. They begin to draw nearer to the strange beings before coming right up close and staring. They seem to have little fear of the group and are curious and intelligent beasts. One comes close enough to sniff and lick a large hank of major scandrea's hair before shying away slightly and retreating to a safe distance*

*Scandrea's hair sticks up in odd places where the creature licked it. This causes Dr. Felsner to double over laughing.*

[S] The first one that makes a cowlick joke is going into the brig!

*This gets more laughs.*

[DF] You do have a way with animals- remember those cattle at the Miracle Mile Ranch?

[S] Yes. I do.

[DF] And that elephant in Laos?

[S] Yes. And the elephant.

[DF] *Still laughing* And I'll never forget the time that antelope-

[S] Do I have to remind you about the chimpanzee?

*This gets his attention and he shuts up.*

It wasn't /that/ much dung...

*Scandrea smiles.*

Well, we've got two days here, and the clock's running. I'll leave you two to set up base camp, and Dr. Felsner and I will do a little bit of field recon. Remember- don't shoot unless they become aggressive!

*deadpan*

We'll defend ourselves only if it looks like were in danger of being licked to death.

*salutes*

Ma'am.

*Returns the salute, and walks with Dr. Felsner up the hill.*

*fretts and hough set up a make-shift camp*