h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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Into Comm //This is Fretts. Major Scandrea do you read me. There is as many as twenty hostiles at the gate. Predominantly jaffa. I've been split up from Hough. Do you read me, over//

*The antelope shies away from the radio before poking it with its nose urgently*

//Major Scandrea, do you read me? I'm about a hundred and fifty metres due west of the gate at the edge of the forest. I have a clear view of the jaffa. As far as I can see they are unaware of our presence...//

*Fretts voice trails off as a group of five or six jaffa break away from the rest and start firing repeatedly into some bush close by the gate*

//... I think the jaffa have just got aquainted with the local wildlife,...//

*fretts smiles to himself as an unhelmeted jaffa, obviously the ranking officer from his uniform, raises his hand. Fretts fixes his head in the centre of his gunsite.

//...wait a minute,...//

*The jaffa immediatly cease firing into the bushes. One of them walks forward and starts to drag the unfortunate victim out into the open. Fretts heart sinks as he realises the corpse belongs to Hough*

//...the jaffa have located and killed Hough. I repeat private Hough has been killed. The jaffa know were here//

[S] /\/ I read.../\/

*Scandrea rubs her eyes, which are tearing up in grief.*

[DF] Now what do we do?

*Scandrea looks around, turns the antelope out of the camp and gives it a gentle swat to get it moving.*

[S] We evacuate. There's too many for us to handle on our own, and I think we're going to have to get out while we can. Nuge, help the doctor drape this camo net around the opening here, we need to come back for the camp later.

/\/Stay put as long as you can, Fretts, we're headed for the gate. We can't hold them with four./\/

[DF] What about the little guy there? *He points to the antelope which hasn't moved past the opening.*

[S] We have to leave him- the gravity on Earth would be too much strain, and it would kill him.

*They finish their preparations, and with Scandrea at point, move toward Fretts' position.*

<I liked Hough!>

< I was Hough at one point>

<<>>

Lock and load, people, be on your guard.

//I'll keep put. Approach the gate from the woods on the west. The Jaffa are spliting into smalller groups and hunting for others, with a bit of luck the group left guarding the gate might be managable. But we've got to be quick. Nuge if that Proffesser friend of Major Scandreas does know how to use a gun then a suggest you give him a crash course//

*jumps through the gate*

Never will get used to that.

*turns around and looks straight at a group of jaffa gaurding the gate*

Oh... Holy crap!

*ducks down as the jaffa open fire*

/\/ This is Captain LeRue of SG-6, I am bringing with me a bakers dozen and have allready engaed the enemy. out/\/

~~oh f*ck, timings everything~~

*fretts surprises the jaffa by firing ito the jaffa flank, doubling their surprise*

*Jumps through gate*
*Immedietly begins fire*
Its harder when they used to be my friends. *Shoots a jaffa dead*

*Scandrea and Dr. Felsner approach the gate quietly from the west, with Nuge hopefully close behind.*

*The antelope skitters back into the camp, having given Scandrea a disgruntled look. It pokes into one of the tents and tries to hide itself quietly*

Ses. Stand your ground, you are jaffa. Crush these Tauri heretics. Your god demands it.

*Ses hurriedly backs away from the gate as the remaining jaffa start to fall. He speaks into the comm in his armour*

//alll jaffa to the gate, the tauri are here!//