h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hey, guys, new superzero... death avacado. http://www.h2g2.com/F47679?thread=62763&post=463069

humm de dumm de dumm...
*pulls out pocketknife and starts carving into the walls to pass the time*

*The door suddenly opens, flooding the room with a light that evillene *should* find unbearable. The music, however, continues, as Affy gets evillene to leave the room*

Well done! Three days, and you don't have any physical side affects, other than a slightly paler skine tone. Now, here is your STUMPED membership card, and your official decoder ring. Remember, this card has a base supply of money in it, and is worth for 10% off of all purchases at CLI. Meanwhile, enjoy waiting for your first job! Soon, STUMPED will be the most well known super-villain syndacite in the planet! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

*Walks off*

Congratulations, all new members! I really would have enjoyed being around during your initiation... *grin*

That so called "test" sounds EASY, and you call yourselves evil. PAH! I demand a more EVIL test!

If no more evil test can be made, I am willing to do that boring one.

Okay, while we're waiting for a few more recruits to initiate, we'll get to work on a more insidious test. Of course, if you've never heard Albuquerque before, you don't know just how bad it would be to hear it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...

Of course, it *seems* harmless when you just read it from miles away on your computer, but if you were actually exposed to this, you'd never want to hear Albuquerque again.

But, if you really want something worse, I'll see what I can do. Maybe a really *short* song played over and over and over and over and over again would work. Like "Harvey The Wonder Hampster" by Weird Al. "Harvey, Harvey, Harvey the Wonder Hampster! He doesn't bite, he doesn't squeal, he just runs around in his hamster wheel! Harvey, Harvey, Harvey the Wonder Hampster! Hey, Harvey!"

Imagine that played over and over and over for three days. That'd actually be worse than Albuquerque for me. I'll get on planning it.

if you get bored, i wrote some poetry on the walls in there... really BAD poetry but poetry nonetheless. and i think evillene carved something into the wall. good luck... i still scream whenever i hear albequerque.

So does Al. You can hear it righ after he says that his mom gave him a big bowl of saurkraut for breakfast.

Can I bring my glow in the dark crayons? If I promise to design some nifty maps of sneaky ways around the guide or good ways of deflecting any investigations?

hee hee...

It's against the rules to have any form of light in there. However, I *might* give out bonus points for bending the rules. Just don't let me catch you.

Okay, that sounds reasonable. I'll just sit and play with my friend Ed's monkey and his guitar...

Yes, but before we start, I want bob and TEO over here. It'd be boring to just sit in the dark alone. Almost easy. So we won't officially start the initiation until those two come in. Of course, if Quorthorn ever bothered to show up again he'd do as well. I wonder where he dissapeared to.

All right, well I'll come up with some fun games to play then while I wait. maybe the other guy decided to switch teams? Why I don't know...

Well, I think Quorthorn went to Australia, or something, but he was around before then. I hope he didn't take the joke that I didn't care much for antichrists too seriously (even though that, being a christian IRL, it was the kind of humour that I didn't care much for).

Well, if he can't take a joke it's his loss. But, maybe he doesn't have a connection to the internet yet...never know.

I'll begin my test now,







This is fun












Yawn









I actually quite like this music!

*sea prepares the torture- er, initiation- chamber for the new recruits. she starts the incessant "Albuquerque", (wincing at the memories of her own initiation) turns off the lights, and waits for the new members to arrive.

*appears in a cloud of crimson smoke and hovers in mid air*

Good evening. I think it is about time I joined this prestigious organisation, may I take part in the initiation? I have trained for years on tapes of "Star Trekkin'", Wierd Al should be no problem...

*A silver rimmed fishbowl materialises around RedFish and floats him towards a shelf which is black and also has just materialised.*

*yawns*

allright, three days to go, redfish. hopefully someone will join you in here soon.

*Opens door and peers inside carefully*

*has to wait for eyes to adjust*

*spots RedFish*

*heaves an earth-shuddering sigh*

Oh thank Eris! Hiya RedFish! or should i just call you 'boss'? I was really worried! didn't think i would be able to join until after the election if it meant i had to leave my Boss without an assistant!

*shudders*
I was even considering trying to perform some strange ceremony like splitting myself in half!

*enters, shutting door behind, and gropes through the dark in the general direction of RF*

*stops when hands come in contact with cloth*

er.. sorry boss!