h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Sprites of HooToo Forest have been bobbing and weaving around the wagon. They followed in its wake and kept up with it pretty well. The sprites dispersed and sought refuge at the undercarriage of the haywain while the vicious rabbits attacked. They begin chiming with glee as they notice what Toasty the Snowman is doing.

#1: do you see it?
#2: yes i do!
#3: we can help!

The wood sprites dash forward under the wagon. They race past the horses' hooves. They zoom along the edges and the center of the sheet of ice and snow that dips down into the crater and touches down near CLI. They leave a trail of colored sparkling lights in their wake delineating the width of the frozen ramp. The ramp looks like it has a lighted center stripe for accuracy.

#1: do you see it horses?
#2: do you see it driver?
#3: can you follow us?

*Blinks*

Oooo... ooooh! It looks just like a runway!

Foxtrot Sierra Tango preparing for landing... I always wanted to say that!

*the Clydesdale monsters screech and shy at the sudden appearance of the ice ribbon*

*their mood does not improve when lights begin to twinkle around them, but Amos is able to use the sparkles to keep Bonnie and Clyde more or less on course*

*the less part occurs about 20 feet from the ground*

*Amos has been trying to bring the horse monsters down from their flat out runaway gallop, and has almost succeeded when the wings of the two beasts suddenly tangle*

*the horses skew and the off hind wheel of the wagon slews off the side of the ice*

*the whole rig makes it to the ground, but none too gently: they all set down with an almighty thump and the off-hind wheel spins off on a path of its own*

*Bonnie and Clyde come to a halt after dragging the wain another hundred feet. Already they are morphing back into horses, exhausted, panting horses*

*the hundred feet of 'runway' from the foot of the snow arc to the back wagon is a trail of hay, snow, tea things and salonistas*

*fortunately the killer rabbits have been left far behind*

*climbs out of a pile of hay, snow and something-you-wouldn't-like-to-know-about-anyway*

*checks that Ripley is still safe in the by now firm grip of Hypatia*

*nods*

*runs to the now normal-looking horsies*

Bonnie! Clyde! Are you OK? *gently strokes the muzzles of the two Clydesdales*

*rubs her coccyx*

Oh boy! Nearly as exciting as the Wild Ride!

Mmmmfff! *sits up slowly and looks around* Is everyone OK?

Ripley and I are fine.

*Hands the squirming Ripley to Titania.*

I must have dozed off. Are we ready to start?

*A red blob emerges from a pile of hay.*

Oh, I think I bit my tongue.

*Picks hay out of her hair.*

*Picks himself off the ground and looks around dazedly*

*sees Amos attending to his horses, and goes to have a look at the damage to the wagon, picking up crockery along the way*

I guess we'll have to get bots out here to repair the wagon. Amos, why don't we keep the horses here overnight, and then you can pony them back in the morning? They really are all in, aren't they! The gardenerbot will help you bed them down in the shed.

I think the CLI building is just the other side of that stand of trees, that hillock over there. Are there any security traps between here and there, Affi? Just a few hundred yards and we'll be home. Does anybody need to be carried?

#1: did we help?
#2: yes i think we helped!
#3: oh is everyone alright?

The wood sprites flit to and fro between the tumbled bunch of Salonistas. Their glow shimmers on the faces of each person (and each critter) momentarily. They seem satisfied that everyone survived the landing and begin circling the holiday tree.

#1: foom-fu-lalloo are you alright?
#2: foom-fu-lalloo how are you feeling?
#3: foom-fu-lalloo did you enjoy your flight?

I hope the wood sprites are aware that the tree is over in the salon, inside the building, and has been since Amy flew it there on Christmas Eve.

So presumably the wood sprites have flown off?

#1: we knew that!
#2: sure we did!
#3: that's obviously where we're at...!

The wood sprites intstantaneously transport themselves into the Atelier into the room containing the tree, Foom-Fu-Lalloo, in order to maintain continuity. With a wink, a blink, and a nod, they thank Asteroid Lil.

*Starts trudging off towards the salon.*

*pats Bonnie and Clyde in passing*

You did very well and your impersonation of night mares was very realistic!

Oh well, time to merge into my other self and have a and one of Matina's mbouty thingies.

{Having wasted away to nothing more than a derby bowler hat atop a thin spindle of packed snow with two limbs sticking out at odd angles, with a hunter green plaid waistcoat hanging limply from them, Toasty collapses in a heap in the snow.}

Ummf...

{The snow that once comprised Toasty splatters and dissipates in swirling eddies across the white blanket covering the woods. All that remains is the bowler hat, the waiscoat (with the pocketwatch still in its pocket), the two limbs, and--lying atop the snow in perfect imitation of a jolly visage--the coal eyes, the carrot nose, and the thick red yarn of his mouth.}
[\end]

*Affy5 stands and looks at the remains of Toasty*

Affy5-Huh. Well,....I suppose that melting him wasn't the best way to get B4 back to normal....we should probably keep that hat and keep working on it.

Oh, and unless there's been an emergency the traps shouldn't be active. And I mean a serious emergency. Like CLI exploding or something. STUMPED agents still come and go as they please, really, unless they decide to declare war.

Goodness, it's weird when that happens....

*picks up the pocketwatch* When we get B4 back I'll give him this. It might turn out to be valuable inventory for the long term. See you in the atelier!

*follows GDZ's footsteps across the snow toward the CLI building*

*ponders*

*picks up the bowler hat, the waiscoat, the two limbs, the coal eyes, the carrot nose, and the piece of red yarn, just in case they might be needed*