h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey Amos, you sure you don't have something that will turn Toasty back into B4?

Ooh, sprites! Aren't they pretty? The only sprites I've seen before were members of the sprite six at my Brownie troop. Only at least four of them weren't pretty at all and no way could they have possibly flown!

The Celtic Ring are nearly as pretty though, but they tend to be rather mischeivious when you aren't looking.

*goes over to the and pats it gently*

You are going to be so beautiful with all the decorations on you and I shall make sure you are well watered every day. I seem to remember a little tip about using icecubes, that will keep your roots nice and cool.

*watches the dance around*

I'm starting to feel dizzy. We'd better make a start on getting this tree back to the Atelier.

*throws some hay into the air to test the mind speed and direction*

Amos, pull the tree around so that its top is facing North, please. Then I'll hover over it and you can attach the ring of the cargo net to the hook under the DFB. As I take up the slack (gliding term!), you'll need to adjust the tree to keep the centre of gravity in the right place. I'll go up a couple of hundred feet and then come back down so that Lil can check that the tree is still happy with this arrangement.

*launches the DFB from the side of the wagon, narrowly missing a *

Wind speed = 25 knots. Mind speed, on the other hand, is not much above zero, apparently.

The wood sprites disperse before B4 can start swatting them. They flit amongst all the gathered Salonistas. Their tiny voices ring in each person's ears.

#1: you have a tree?
#2: which tree do you have?
#3: is that it on the wagon?

All three sprites converge on the wagon and zig-zag up and down the length of the tree. There is heard a tinkling sound like that of miniature chimes. Tiny glittering sparkles drop from each of the wood sprites onto the tree and cling to its branches. The tree begins to sparkle with tiny highlights. Again the wood sprites fly amongst the gathered party and some can make out their words.

#1: you're taking foom-fu-lalloo?
#2: he's agreed to accompany you!
#3: may we come along too?

The sprites flit and flutter in front of various people. Their question is repeated again and again.

*swoops over the tree (which is lying on the ground) and turns to face the *

Foom-fu-lalloo? Isn't that an island in the Maldives? Excellent house reef.

The voices are too teeny tiny for me to hear, but by the way they are hanging around I would say they seem to like company.

I wonder if they would like to grace the top of the tree? As there is three of them they could do shifts or something.

[GDZ]

We have the tree arranged the way you want, Amy. Take 'er up.

*is startled out of her reverie about the Maldives by Lil's voice* looks down and sees that the cargo net has been attached to the hovering DFB*

Thanks, Lil.

*starts to take up the slack of the cargo net* as the tree begins to lift the motor of the DFB starts to whine at a slightly higher pitch* the tree sways slightly at the DFB, with the tree attached, rises slowly to 150 feet and then descends*

Is the tree happy, Lil?

*Lil goes over to the tree and hugs it*

*Some time goes by, then Lil steps back from the net*

It wants to go fast. It wants to do barrel rolls. Or could we at least take it in some fast circles? Apparently even She Who Walks knows nothing of the Centrifugal Force.

I'll have to see what I can do then . This is a brave tree - there's a lot of World out there when you get above the trees.

*rises above the trees, waves to everybody on the ground, and then sets off into the teeth of a knithering northerly towards the Atelier*

Maybe after the holidays we can take her for a spin on the Wild Ride from last year's Panto.

*waves to the rapidly disappearing tree and Amy*

Oh gosh yes, the Wild Ride! That would be great for shaking the winter off!

*does a gentle turn over the tinsel trees to get the tree used to the sensation*

I hope they remember the tinsel... and the chocolate smileys. There's a good crop this year.

{After the onslaught of the wood sprites subsides, Toasty stops flailing at the air. He slides over nearer the wagon and watches the tree ascending. He notices the wood sprites still dancing about in the air.}

Pesky little pixies! All I did was accidentally brush against a few of the spruce trees and knock the snow of their limbs while 'shushing' through the woods. Ah, well; live and learn...

{He focuses again on the departing holiday tree, agape at it's magnificence.}

Wow! Who chose that one? Did I hear someone say Caer found it? {He notices Caer turn abashedly away, and he smiles.} Good choice! Pardonez moi, but I did not catch all that transpired with Lil and hugging the tree. What was that all about?

#1: take care foom-fu-lalloo!
#2: oh this is sooo exciting!
#3: now we’ll be able to talk with him about flying too!

The wood sprites bounce and jiggle. They bound higher and higher until they flit above the treetops. Then they flutter down among the party of Salonistas.

#1: he’ll be alright won’t he?
#2: do take care of him!
#3: he’s never flown before you know!

The sprites all aglow zip from one person to the next in a triad of rolling lights. They whirl around Zeppo the dog and fluff up his coat. They swirl around d’E and shower him with glittery dust. All three zoom toward Titania and Ripley and stop abruptly to hover near the Unau kid in new-found surprise. They jaunt off and swing round and round both Afgncaap4 and Afgncaap5 trying to decide which is which. The zoom along the ground and up over Amos then flash over Bonnie and Clyde’s backs leaving a trail of sparkling highlights on their flanks and tack and harness. All three sprites round on Asteroid Lil and flit to and fro in front of her.

#1: you made foom-fu-lalloo feel right at home!
#2: thank you for seeing to his comfort and his needs!
#3: can we come see where he’ll be spending the holiday?

The three little glowing sprites bob and weave in expectation.

*seeing the Goo Spruce bobbing past the salon window, Z rushes out and to observe the results of fellon Salonista's hard work*

Was that meant for the other thread, Z?
OK, who are the felons then?