h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Plum wanders around the gallery observing the artwork and guests, looking slightly befuddled. He eavesdrops on conversations, trying to put the pieces together.*


Ah, a birthday party. That's what this is. I seem to remember something about birthdays. Someone ought to propose a toast, I suppose.

*appears with a plate full of various hors d'euvres*

*has already formed some opinions on the identities of the other guests*

*analyzes the artwork instead*

*Raises glass in the air* Happy Birthday one and all.

*hastily wonders if he guesses right about Holmes' guesses on the guests*

The Pooka notices with some suspicion the character in a plum-coloured suit, and feeling some danger coming, tries to inform Clouseau about it in a crypted bilingual message:

- Monsieur Chief Inspectoar, you have a nail cloue au dos, do you understand? CLOU AU DOS

In a desperate attempt to warn as many guests of the detective class as possible, he also makes a silent sign towards Plum for Holmes to see.

Nature of the sign, the Greek version:
deixis

Yes indeed, Happy Birthday and Many Happy Returns!




*too busy trying to stop mask obscuring his visor to hazard a guess at identities*

/Turns round happily with a plateful of food and gazes wonderingly at the suspcious character and bemusedly at the Pooka's gensturing.

Her brow clears as the momentory effort of thinking passes away/

Happy birthday!

A clue? Behind me?

*Turns around and sees Professor Plum*

Pardon Monsieur, have you seen anything souspicious?

*Taps watch*

Aha! Happy Birthday!

*Shows his watch to Professor Plum*

It is le 7 Septembre.

*Startled by Monsieur Clouseau.*

Suspicious, you ask? I suspect your watch needs a new b-b-battery, sir.

*kindly* Or perhaps a large face.

*to Garanor, politely* Sir, do you not think you should remove your helmet in the presence of a lady?

*looks up from exceptionally intriguing painting*

Surely that ought to be 'ladies' Mr Wilde?

*the amazingly small number of ladies among the guests compared to the Salonistas is only one of many facts noted*

*all of a sudden there is a rumbling and creaking overhead as one of the hardwood panels between the beams slides open. The rumbling ceases and there is silence for a couple of beats, followed by a humming noise. The base of a flat surface can be seen, supported by silvered chains at each corner. As it descends smoothly, the chains are seen to connect to a single large hook, itself suspended from a chain which is evidently unreeling*

*the flat surface descends to a height of one and a quarter metres and stops. There, on the surface, sits a magnificent birthday cake decorated with sparklers and candied orchids. At either end of the table are ice buckets with champagne bottles, surrounded by glasses*

*the butler bot steps forward and begins to pour out champagne*

It might indicate a general tendency in the picking of a disguise, Mr Holmes.

But I'd notice another thing too, if I were you.


Narrator's descriptiopn of the situation:

Again, the Pooka ridiculously gestures in an accusing way towards Pr. Plum. Seeing it entails no reaction but smiles and miscomprehension, he howover decides to quit it and replace by a permanently upraised left brow, as a sign*

Meaning of the sign:
Unprecised suspicion.

Conclusion of the foregoing.


Anybody wants to make a longest jump contest?

*As the Pooka notices he spoke without remarking the remarkable birthday cake arriving, he blushes with embarrasment and stays quiet. For a while.*

Surely there is no immediate danger until Black arrives, Mr MacPhellimey?

*looks at magnificent cake, thinking that this will be a perfect opportunity to do some observing since it is customary for the birthday child to cut the first slice or - in this case - at least one of the Scorpios*

Oh dear, we are not supposed to be guessing who people are are we? I was always terrible at Guess Who and Clue as a child.
Ummm, I don't suppose someone could pass me something from that new hanging table could they, only it is a bit far to jump and there is no leg I can climb up. Perhaps a thimblefull of champagne or something.

*was about to reply to Holmes when the cake descended from the ceiling*

*now whistles appreciatively then turns to the Victorian detective* Sir, you are absolutley right in pointing out that there is more than one lady present. I had meant the lady that Garanor was addressing. No insult intended. *bowing in the direction of the Fraulein*

As our hosts are in disguise, how are we to offer a toast, or handle the cutting of the cake? I see that these candles are not the sort to be blown out.

*steps over to pick up a *

*accepts from butler bot*

You wouldn't happen to have a thimble of as well?

*fascinatedly observes a bot displaying surprise, thinking to himself that it is indeed a fine piece of technology*

Thank you!

*bows and hands thimble- to squirrel*

Ahh, you are indeed a gentleman. Would you like an acorn?

Oh, come off it!

*Madame Zora steps forward, drawing a cake spade from one of her pockets and proceeds to lunge forth and cut the cake in halves, then quarters, then eights, sixteenths and finally thirty-seconds*

*she then grabs a plate, takes the biggest piece of a cake and proceeds to shovel a third of it into her mouth at once*

Mmmm... Lemon with raspberry filling and cocunut frosting- this is superb. But nowhere nearly as good as my mother's.

You- you, Professor Plum. Either kindly move aside from the punch bowl or I will have to walk over you. Can't you see the queue forming around you?

Mr Wilde, you are of course quite right modern day etiquette does require me to remove my helmet. All this ducking around between time lines makes it hard to keep up with the correct period of manners.

*manages to remove his helmet whilst keeping the mask over teh upper half of his face, revealing dark hair, a strong jaw line, straight nose and a smile*

Now that is better the mask says in place.

*hands his helmet to a passing bot*