h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*a canape cart suddenly rolls squeakily into view and bangs to a halt on the other side of the rope bridge, spilling a few devilled eggs over the lip of the chasm*

Wheels! We could turn that cart over and run the rope over the axle. It would be easier than hauling straight up. Um, we just need to get the cart across the bridge... or cross the bridge while we've got hold of d'Elephant...

*goes back across the bridge and helps herself to snacks* Mmm, this is Matina's cooking.

*dives out of the way of the rampaging tea cart and lands on some less-than-soft stalagmites*


oooh

At last I'm starving!

Such a relief in the wonderful world of hootoo to be able to eat anything and not gain weight!

*tucks into cocktail sausages on sticks*

*Shuffles out cautiously from behind rock and eats a piece of pineapple on a stick* Err, so that wasn't anything nasty then? Phew!

/* While being pulled up, grabs a deviled egg just as it goes hurtling over the edge, then lies on the ground, panting and and eating. */

Is there any on that cart? Oh, no of course not, that's how this whole thing started.

Oh, that's what we are all here for!
Better get back on track then!

*turns away from the canape cart reluctantly*

*Looks around for a blunt stalagmite to sit on whilst d'Elephant is being hauled up, and notices something white and shiny behind a pile of scree*

Look! A pair of white go-go boots! *holds them up: they are fringed and have a short stack heel*

Oh bother! Now I'm worried again! *Swings blue torch around in a manic way, catches sight of large hair, gibbers*

*Looks where Mucher's torch had swung*

Relax! That's a big patch of lichen.

*chewing on a carrot stick*

We need to get d'Elaphant up and then decide, can we guide Titania to come here or will we have to follow her? Usually, anything that goes into the crisper comes out in the linen closet, but I'm not sure that it works the other way. I mean, caves and Styx showing up suggest that these caves connect to the mosh pit that QMike used to run... and none of us except maybe Affy and Garius -- and Styx -- know where the caves go.

And I'm claustrophobic.

*Suddenly, there is a small explosion heard in the distance, behind and below the company. This is followed by another larger explosion, a little nearer. The ground shakes from the second explosion and a stalactite detaches from the roof and falls into the chasm. It is a long time before the thud of it hitting bottom is heard. A weak light shines out of a newly opened crack in the wall of the chasm a little ways below. Shortly thereafter, running footsteps are heard coming from inside the crack, along with a strange thump-thumping sound. The running footsteps stop and are replaced by a scrabbling sound drawing ever nearer. Finally, GL's head appears above the edge of the chasm and he climbs up onto the ledge. He is surprised to see the assembled company, but looks slightly relieved to see Affy. He runs over to Affy and speaks to him.*


It's gotten out. There was a little accident with the fribulator controls and...well, it escaped. I'm not sure how mobile it is, but it was sure moving fast behind me. Do you think the Heart of Darkness can climb? Oh, are those eggs?

*sits down on a convenient stone to ponder this new intelligence*

*Watches stalactite disappear* Oh and that one looked so much like Sooty too.

*munches a egg, waiting to see what happens next*

It just seems safer this way...

G7

*watches d'Elephant rise to the lip of the abyss*

Would you like a sausage roll?

*cocks her head as she hears an odd flapping sound from the direction of the way they all came in*

* as there seems to be no immediate hurry to continue the quest, reaches for a salmon and creme fraiche choux puff*

*in the far distant*

*senses rather than sees something big moving towards her*

*slowly backs*

*pulls a woolen beach blanket over his shoulders, mutters thusly:*

who buys woolen beach blankets?

*pops in tape 5*

*wonders where Sporky is popping Tape 5*

That quite possibly worries me more than Alvin Stardust! But there is so much to be worried about now, what with the flapping noise and all that I think I'm starting to suffer an overload. Ah well, nothing some duck paté on Melba Toast won't cure. *Digs into tea trolley*

[big entity invisible in the dark]

*sniffs, then decides that the scents flowing through the air of various delikatessen are more tempting than the elven queen*

*changes direction towards other end of caves*