h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

~Sizing up new recruit~

Well, I can't OFFICIALLY take you on board without a STUMPED membership card. For that you need to see afgncaap5, but I believe he's on vacation... so we have a bit of a problem. Your ship is impressive... most impressive. And you certainly *look* evil. I believe I shall send you on a reconaisance mission. The crew of the Mangar are down on the planet's surface, trying to get additional signatures on their treaty with Zork. I don't know if you've noticed the parallel thread to this one, but it's called "Mission to Zork III: Irving Found", and it should be on the list of Space Center forums. Your mission is to enter that thread, go down to the planet's surface, locate the Mangar Crew, and do whatever you can to get that treaty invalidated. At this point, the use of LETHAL FORCE is authorized. That means that if a member of the Mangar Crew must be deaded in order to suceed in your mission, then so be it.

~Red hands Lord Byancbaldich a laminated card~
Upon engaging the enemy, flash this temporary STUMPED membership card, then continue the attack. Meanwhile, my fleet will be headed for the Rodentar System, where the Rodentar/Mangol Alliance -- under my command -- are amassing their fleet in order to blockade the Mangar's voyage home. Join us there for the Climactic Battle, in which good will finally be vanquished, and evil shall triumph.

/Red

[Y2K] Well, there's a kind of a problem, here, you see ...

The Good Guys have ceased to post in the Mission to Zork forum. I know this for a fact; The Jedi YK, Peet the Pendantic Punctuation Policeman, and Sith Lady Darth Solent are the only ones posting there currently.

Do you mean to say that the good guys have disappeared entirely????

pretty much... i was in their secret conversation forum a while ago, and siren seems to be the only one left... sad really...

[Y4K] Does that mean we have our work cut out for us?

Perhaps.

[the good guys haven't disappeared (the ones sea was referring to - the superheros - are in no way connected to this mission), they just don't know what to do while Affy is gone]

[I can live with that]

*blushes*
oh yeah... well, i was just trying to... er... say that... um... it seems that all the good guys have disappeared, yeah!

[Well the superhero-ones obviously have - they must've noticed that being a good guy eventually gets boring...]

[And that means that the H2G2 is OURS!]

[The first thing we ought to do is make a "Wicked Smiley". Something like &gt maybe.]

i think we should randomly start wreaking havoc. like kidnapping people and taking them to other forums, or freezing people for five posts... or something. there's always blowing stuff up...

Okay, so Affy is gone, and the goodguys are MIA. I think this means that we win by default! But in the true nature of movie style bad guys, we have to let our egos get the best of us by giving them a chance to come back that we believe too slim for them to take advatage of. I'm on my way to proclaim in the Mission to Zork forum that if they make no definate action in the next 24 real time hours, the crew of the Raven has triumphed, and the crew of the Mangar has been completely defeated! Of course, that leaves us without any climax to speak of, but what the hey! WE WIN!

/Red

Sounds reasonable.

good idea, red.

Thank you. The do good ers now have approximately 23 hours left to comply...

And even if they succeed in getting their treaty signed, I'll rule H2G2 by the time they return!

/Red

[Y2K] [throws back his head] WAAAA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA! [throws back his head again and opens his mouth. Dub wolves howling over]

*looks at corrigible for a moment*
i sincerely hope that's not a side-effect of becoming a sith...

Unfortunately, if the Jedi YK is telling the truth (and there is no reason to believe he isn't telling the truth as he knows it), we have already failed.