Who Is Bluebottle?

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This is the bit where you get to learn all about Bluebottle, who he is, what he likes, what he's doing etc..

Actually, it is all about 10 years out of date1. One day I'll do something about that...

The Isle Of Wight - Click Here For Approved Articles
This is my Fenny Fish, drawn by Fenchurch M. MercuryI'm An O'FISHal Member of the Union Of Fish

What is a "Bluebottle"?

  • One of Peter Seller's characters in the Goon Show2
  • A Portugeuse-man-o'-war jellyfish.
  • A fly
  • A spy played by Bernard Cribbins in the classic film comedy, "Carry on Spying".
  • A bottle which is blue.
  • I also call myself "Bluebottle" because I love the colour "Blue" - which makes Classic Goo great!


Bluebottle picture drawn by Asteroid LilMusic:

I am a Beatles, Wings, Paul McCartney fan. Although I do also like Gilbert & Sullivan, John Williams, Lighthouse Family, and I am getting to like Madness, Manfred Mann, Buddy Holly, The Hollies, occasionally Wham!, Queen, and a lot of sixties music.

Films and TV

TV: I like Doctor Who, Robot Wars, Red Dwarf, Time Team, Star Trek, Babylon 5, Monty Python, Blackadder, Sharpe.

Films: "2001: A Space Odyssey", "Dune", "Yellow Submarine", "Help!", "Star Wars" and many others!


My favourite authors are Isaac Asimov, Arthur C. Clarke, Stephen Donaldson, Frank Herbert and of course Douglas Adams. I also am reading books by J.R.R. Tolkein, Julian May, Terry Pratchett, John Wyndham and lots of others. In fact, most sci-fi eventually. I also have read most of the Bond books - all the Ian Fleming, and most of the John Gardner. John Masefield's great too!

Other stuff:

I enjoy being able to play the Bugle - something I learnt in the Boys' Brigade.


I also like writing. So far I have written lots of poems, and a few novels, including:

  • The Last Comic Kid - "an exciting sci-fi novel about a kid who reads comic books and has many exciting adventures, like changing his name from Max to Maxx by deed-poll, sitting in a shopping trolley, finding exciting names for carpets, eating a packed lunch and finally buying an ice-cream, whilst having to do less interesting stuff like save civilisation as we know it, kill lots of bad guys and invent time travel. Your average run-of-the-mill book - except that there aren't any mills. There is some running, though." You can read the First Chapter
  • Fish - A 6 Part Story with no plot. It's full title is "How To Lightly Toast A Marshmallow On One Side Using Only Chopsticks And A Bottle Of TCP Fifteen Minutes After The End Of Time Yet Still Study A Week In The Life Of A Mayfly In June Getting Home In Time For Lunch And Finally Sitting Down With A Nice, Hot, Cup Of Tea, Watching Paint Dry All Around You" - or "Fish" for short. Each of the 6 parts has its own title that links in to form the whole title. The different sections are:
    • How To Lightly Toast A Marshmallow On One Side Using Only Chopsticks And A Bottle Of TCP
    • Fifteen Minutes After The End Of Time
    • Yet Still Study A Week In The Life Of A Mayfly In June
    • Getting Home In Time For Lunch
    • And Finally Sitting Down With A Nice, Hot, Cup Of Tea
    • Watching Paint Dry All Around You.
    Sadly, the last two sections aren't finished yet.
  • Arcadia - My epic Fantasy poem about Heaven, Death, Mortality and Perfection, that isn't quite finished yet as I have come across a paradox: How do you kill an unkillable Demon?
  • Tales From Her Grandfather's Room - A series of short stories about a girl being told spy stories by her grandfather. There will be ten of them, once I get around to finishing it.

On The Guide

Bluebottle, drawn by Peregrin

I joined the Guide on 2 June 1999, after Peregrin told me about it and seemed to spend all of his time on it. I only spent a week on board before Uni ended and I had no computer to H2G2 on. But as soon as I returned to uni in September 1999 I was back on H2G2 again, and have been a regular ever since!

I think that my biggest contribution to the Guide would have to be the Waterworks and Beach, which is still popular after all this time!

Another claim to fame is that I was the one who invented the c|_| at the Forum And Firkin

And I am also trying to build up So Long, And Thanks For Laughing - the H2G2 Joke Directory.

Check out my favourite places to go from my Links Page

Of course, the best H2G2 thing I've done so far would have to be the meet-ups, where I met many of the researchers in real life!

It's also worth Reading Demon Drawer's review of me in 45 Words or the Venerable Researchers interview.

Bluebottle with purple bottle badge.

Researchers Bluebottle Has Met.

Who Is Bluebottle?

None of the below has been updated since 2000:

Bluebottle picture drawn by Amy The AntBluebottle picture drawn by HannahBackground:

My real name is Matthew Lloyd Sprack, and I've lived in Sandown, on the Isle of Wight, since I was born on the 18th January 1980. My parents divorced when I was 8, and both later remarried. My father, Gareth Lloyd Sprack, lives in Ryde on the Island with Valerie his wife, and Rhiannon Elizabeth Sprack, is my half-sister, who's 10 years younger than me.

I also have a sister who is a 16 months older than me, called Rebekah Julia Sprack, who lives with my mother Julia Margaret Bent and my step-father John Charles Henry Bent in Sandown. I also have a step-sister and brother, but don't really know them.

My friends on the Isle of Wight that I remember well were Tristan, Andrew and Daniel. I also had many great times in the 1st Sandown & Lake Boys' Brigade. I used to go to both Sandown Baptist & Sandown Methodist churches.


I'm currently a history student, after being a Law student for 2 years, at Southampton University, and I rent a house in Southampton. Since being in Southampton I've made friends with Ian Ferguson, Tim Jones and Simon "Garfie" Turner. Ian is Peregrin on the guide, and Tim is Roasted Amoeba, but Garfie is not on H2G2 at all.

So, what is to say? Well, the most important thing is that I'm engaged to Sarah, who is Eccles and Fish Killer on the Guide. Another good friend on the Guide is Ben, AKA The Fish and ScifiBloke.

This is in Bad Taste

Do you feel sad? Depressed? Lonely? Do you wish you had someone to talk to? Something to do? Some activity to look forward to? Are you fed up of unpaid bills, and getting junk mail? Are you on a diet? Does your bum look big/small/medium sized in all the clothes you wear?
Then Commit Suicide! Just end your problems with a happy knife, and never be troubled by anything again. Join the Suicide Club. New members wanted.

A counter

I don't really know why I've got a counter. Is it vanity? Am I egotistical and want everyone to see I'm a well-visited page? Am I trying to copy everyone else who has a counter? Was I just trying to see if I was able to put a counter on my page? I don't know. But for some reason, I decided to have a counter, and here it is.From

e-mail me before 2001, and get a free sausage!3
1The statement that it is 10 years out of date is now 5 years out of date.2He who was always deaded 40 years before Kenny of South Park. Alas, I only have 80 Goon Show episodes on tape3This e-mail address hasn't actually worked since 2002.

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