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Vestboy Posted Jul 21, 2004
*Scratches vest to release odour of antidote for small jam crazed child*
I'm always prepared for that sort of attack. Being attacked by a small jam-crazed child can be dangerous.
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Trin Tragula Posted Jul 21, 2004
Oo, I know. They're like sharks: one splodge of jam five miles away and the red mist descends ...
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Vestboy Posted Jul 21, 2004
Sometimes they get a bad 'press' though. That story that appeared in the Mail headlined 'Jam Crazed Tots Eat Hamster' was, I think a hoax.
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Trin Tragula Posted Jul 21, 2004
I wouldn't be so sure ... a friend of a friend used to run tourists out in the back of his van to playgrounds: get the hamster all nice and jammy, then drop him out on the tarmac on a leash. Within seconds ... dozens of them, circling and dribbling. Flashes from the cameras and somewhere in the feeding frenzy, the border between jam and hamster gets awfully confused ...
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Vestboy Posted Jul 21, 2004
I can feel a 'Tulips from' joke coming on. 
Stop me somebody!
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Vestboy Posted Jul 21, 2004
No, she went of her own accord. Phew, thanks Trin, you're a pal.
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Arisztid Lugosi Posted Jul 21, 2004
jam crazed children? i have jsut the thing... you put a little jam on their nose and that'll keep them busy for hours... tehy wont be able to lick it off because their toungs arent long enough... and tehy'll bo so busy at that they they wont have time for hampsters.
oh! wait one flaw in that... you have to tie their hands behind their backs or else tehy can jsut take teh jam off with their fingers. if they're as dangerous as yu osay perhaps a strait jacket would be in order...
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Vestboy Posted Jul 22, 2004
There is a flaw. Tied the kids up. Jammed their noses... and they licked each others!
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Arisztid Lugosi Posted Jul 22, 2004
hmmm... i admit i didnt forsee that problem. try solitary confinement...
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Vestboy Posted Jul 23, 2004
*echoey voice*
Hello, I'm in here on my own. Seems to work, no attacks by jam crazed children so far!
*toilet seat starts to shake and jammy mitt pokes out of bowl* 
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ShadeTheif Posted Jul 30, 2004
Ahhh! Someone smuggled them in in the spare toilets!
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Trin Tragula Posted Jul 30, 2004
Hang on! *Produces a jar of gooseberry and mackerel jam* I have the anti-jam!!!
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Arisztid Lugosi Posted Jul 30, 2004
*looks puzzles*
whats gooseberry and mackerel jam? i've never heard of it before.
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Trin Tragula Posted Jul 31, 2004
Well, it's quite hard to get hold of ... Right, kids - who's for gooseberry and mackerel jam?
*The previously jam-crazed children freeze and assume looks of disgust*
Well, it's the only jam we've got, I'm afraid.
*The children stick their hands in their pockets and slouch out sulkily*
That should do it 
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Arisztid Lugosi Posted Jul 31, 2004
oh! well done Trin!!! that was very clever. i'd never have thought of that. possibly becasue i didnt know that kind of jam existed. but anyway it was absolutely brilliant!!!
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ShadeTheif Posted Jul 31, 2004
Yes, brilliant!
In fact, Trin is most probably holding the only jar of that jam in the know universe...
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- 101: Vestboy (Jul 21, 2004)
- 102: Trin Tragula (Jul 21, 2004)
- 103: Trin Tragula (Jul 21, 2004)
- 104: Vestboy (Jul 21, 2004)
- 105: Trin Tragula (Jul 21, 2004)
- 106: Vestboy (Jul 21, 2004)
- 107: Trin Tragula (Jul 21, 2004)
- 108: Vestboy (Jul 21, 2004)
- 109: Arisztid Lugosi (Jul 21, 2004)
- 110: lil ~ Auntie Giggles with added login ~ returned (Jul 21, 2004)
- 111: Vestboy (Jul 22, 2004)
- 112: Arisztid Lugosi (Jul 22, 2004)
- 113: Vestboy (Jul 23, 2004)
- 114: ShadeTheif (Jul 30, 2004)
- 115: Arisztid Lugosi (Jul 30, 2004)
- 116: Trin Tragula (Jul 30, 2004)
- 117: Arisztid Lugosi (Jul 30, 2004)
- 118: Trin Tragula (Jul 31, 2004)
- 119: Arisztid Lugosi (Jul 31, 2004)
- 120: ShadeTheif (Jul 31, 2004)
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