h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh hey, congratulations!

I think I've tracked down the source of the Ma[r]lboro error: some of the sources I've used have it listed as a 'direct' translation of the Japanese. I shouldn't have relied on memory...

Anyway. When this reaches the front page I'm going to post a thread with the MSX links, so there's actually no escape. Vivat pedantic detail obsession.

By the way, the recommended version's at A3482769, should you wish to keep an eye on it.

Hi LQ,

I've been given your fantastic entry to subedit, and the result is at A3482769 (side note - I've tried to take all of your suggestions on board that you talked about after the entry got picked). If you spot anything that needs attention, please drop me a note.

SchrEck Inc.

Thanks for the compliment, and I like the look of the improved entry - I particularly like the bullet points in the recurring features. A couple of little things I noticed (more just layout/coherence than details of the games):

I notice you've (drastically!) cut down on the number of footnotes; fair enough, especially as some should be in the main text as you've done. However, in the first paragraph under "The Games", I think there shouldn't be a new sentence starting with "So..."; "This means" or "Therefore" might be better gramatically.

History of the Final Fantasy series - in the bit where the PlayStation is introduced, there's a possessive "its" with an apostrophe. It's mine, I'm ashamed to admit.

At the end of this section, when I blather on about Crystal Chronicles, the sentence is a touch unweildy; I think it should either be split into two, or at least the bit in brackets about being multiplayer but offline games should be put inbetween dashes instead (as in
"...and for which a sequel is being developed for the Nintendo Dual Screen (DS, which also stands for Developer's System) system - these are predominantly multiplayer but offline games - and Final Fantasy Tactics Advance...")
Or something like that.

Another footnote put in the main text - I feel the note about the FF VII translation of the move should at least be in brackets if not a footnote, because I think it interrupts the 'flow' of the sentence too much.

In the rundown of the different games, there's a double line break in FF IV between story and characters. Have you tried putting the extra bits of that in bullet point indentation, like with the recurring features? I think that might look good, though I haven't tried it for myself (not sure how...)

Description of FF VII - having listed all the set allies (finishing with Cid), it could probably do with a comma after the end of his comment, before saying "are the six set allies".

Any particular reason the "Final Fantasy Insider" website link was dropped? Does it contravene house rules?

I think that's it (for the minute)...thanks a lot for the editing.

Hi LQ,

thanks for your comments - I'll incorporate your corrections as soon as possible, say, tomorrow. As to your questions:

- Footnotes, I think more than 20 is too much; so I tried to get some of them into the main text. I'll fix the 'so' sentence though, and will have a look at the FF VII translation thingy.

- The FF Insider link didn't work, at least yesterday and the day before.

That's for now, I'll pop here again when I've done the changes.

SchrEck Inc.

Hi LQ,

done this, done that; your suggestions and a bit more should be addressed now. If you'd like to see how the GuideML looks like (of the bulleted lists, for instance), the URL is http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/test3482769

SchrEck Inc.

Oh, and the link in question was the one to ffonline.com; as it seems to working now, I've put it back in.

Looks really good now...thanks a lot.

I fully accept your judgement on the footnotes - there were a tad too many.

Has this moved out of your hands now? I see there's been a few more changes; while some, like the subheaders in the chronology of the series rleases are fair enough, I'm not keen on the fact a couple of my headers have been changed: especially "Final Note on 'Final'" converted into "Why 'Final' Fantasy?", and moved up one so that it isn't even the final point (a point that even an italic - Jimster to be specific - said he liked...)

Also, if you can still edit it, I've just noticed there's still a note suggesting there are specific game entries (the very end of the fighting section) - that should probably be removed.

Yes, it's out of my hands now - meaning the changes you spoke of were done in-house. And no, I couldn't edit it myself anymore.

But I've alerted the Editors about your post, I think your point concerning the fighting section will get fixed soon.

SchrEck Inc.

Just to let the author know "consoles" games are considered separate from "PC" games, they are different formats, and thus it is oxymoronic to call a game a computer based Consol game.

The fist Breath of Fire was as is the series created by Capcom. However the first game was published in the states by Squaresoft.

That's actually pretty much what it says in the entry:

"Between Final Fantasy V and VI, Square was also responsible for the English language version of the original Breath of Fire game when released on the Super Nintendo Entertainment System (or SNES) in 1993"

There's a slight difference in what you're saying, suggesting they just published it...but my source says Square did in fact translate it all.

As for the computer thing, which you've brought up in both threads - I'll respond to that in the other one, as that'll be read more.