h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*stows the sloth in an overhead compartment and takes a seat*

*double checks her seatbelt, feels under seat for flotation device, doesn't find one*

Just as well, no emergency exit anyway.

*flips through in-flight magazine*

...3...2...1


*The CLI Mini-UFO lift off the ground, and cautiously maneuvers through the nearest available exit. It is soon floating away from h2g2, and towards Roswell, New Mexico*

[The space the Millenium Bug is now flying through is empty except for the CLI UFO, but nevertheless weaves through it]

[YK] Zark it, YC, do you HAVE to fly like you just had three Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters!?

[YC] No, but I'm going to.

[Zelda opens her mouth to speak]

[YK] Yes, Your Royal Highness, I /do/ remember your earlier comments -- OH ZARK!

[The Bug dips within two and a half centimeters of the UFO, in front]

*The launch wakes up GL, who is rather startled to see motion out the cockpit window.*

Oh, er, sorry about that, chief.

*Does an extra-thorough check on all systems to compensate. Is about to report all systems functioning in top conditions, when he notices a very slight asymmetry in the weight distribution. Taps dial. Unusual reading remains. Scratches head. Ponders ...

Shrugs shoulders and figures that there must either be some very heavy gear stowed on the port side, or some antimatter on the starboard side. Decides to check later. After coffee break.*

All systems go.

*Watches the scene on the viewport*

I love it when things and entities start to shrink and look like ants.

Oh, wait... that's Amy. *blushes*

~Now~ we're getting higher. *Watches as h2g2 shrinks away.*

*lets Mindspring out of the overhead luggage compartment*

No spontaneous combustion in the lavatories, please. Absolutely no spitting. Complimentary drinks are now available from the galley. The in-flight movie will be The Sound of Music. You may sing along.

Mindspring: meep

[Meep!?]

[YK punches YC out and takes control]

[YK] Let's just hope the hyperdrive doesn't act up again.

[YQ] The planet looks great, doesn't it?

[The World of H2G2 looks like the H2G2 logo from space]

*Unbuckles his seatbelt and walks back to the galley, where Lil is preparing the in-flight meal. Pours a coffee for himself and leans casually on a counter*

So, the boyfriend still giving you troubles?

[Zelda] Now that we aren't flying like ... like ...

[YK] Like the pilot just had three Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters!?

[Zelda] Yeah. What are those?

[YK] Extremely alcoholic beverage.

[Zelda] Now that we aren't flying like that, I'm going to get some rest.

[YK] Wait, you'll like this.

[The ships get into position to enter Hyperspace...]

*Unhooks seatbelt. Hears asteroid lil's announcement.*

Not the sound of music! Please God no! Julie Andrews aaaargh!!!

*Collapses into a gibbering heap*

*helps herself to a martini to go with the peanuts*

Come here, Springie. I'll give you a cuddle.

*Mindspring climbs up and settles in next to WM.*

[to Uncle Heavy] You don't have to watch the in-flight movie, sir! That's the one Mindspring picked. *riffles through DVDs* I also have The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, The Importance of Being Earnest, Debbie Does Dallas, and a wildlife program, "The Scintillating Earthworm".

*pops a 25-lb. prime rib of beef into the convection oven, and begins to defrost one of Matina's vegetarian moussakas*

Boyfriend? You mean the man I buried in the back garden last month?

*Checks the systems. Notices an unusual amount of weight on the ship. Decides to let it go as unimportant. Sets the ship on autopilot, and goes to where everyone else is*

Okay, this crate's on auto. Now, to enjoy the rest of the ride.

*Sits down and attempts to open a bag of peanuts. Attempts again. Sits and stares at the bag of peanuts. Has a brilliant idea, and begins tinkering on his wristwatch*

Is there any way that I can serve dinner on the other ship as well? *washes idaho potatoes, pricks the skins to let out the steam and butters them before wrapping them in foil and putting them in with the beef*

I need to find out who this Zelda chick is.

[Link] Zelda is the Princess of Destiny.

[Zelda] Huh!?

[Link] Ask me that in five and a half years.

*Finishes working on his wristwatch. Pushes a button, and some strange looking device come out of the watch, and open the bag of peanuts*

Aha! An airplane peanut bag opener!

How long before we get to Roswell from h2g2? I was hoping to serve dinner.

*Suddenly, the Mini-UFO drops in altitude, and is landing in a small patch of trees*

We're here.