h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Floating watermelons now. I'm not well. That's it, I'm tottering off for home. I'll make us up a new batch of Brownies for our services.

I do apologise, mari-rae, and sorry to meet you under such awkward circumstances.
*Mindspring smells the melon and bounces over, dropping the hat*
*Lil finds she is able to grab a handful of the sloths coat and pull her the rest of the way through the field*

Affi designed these fields to be ecologically friendly, but this is the first demonstration I've had of it! *puts collar and leash on Springie, who ignores it and slurps the melon*

Thanks for that, Gw7en. Well, never a dull moment with a landlord like CLI! I do need to find an antidote to donuts, though. And who knows what that will be for a sloth? I'll have to lock her in the Licoln Room tonight.

*leads Springie away, who forgets the melon and begins to run in circles, threatening to trip Lil*

Quite all right! He just startled me a bit. It was my fault, really. Nice to meet you too.

*Fires Duct-tape-gun at Chrome and binds him from head to toe.*

*blares into megaphone (convenienyly found nearby) *

WE NOW HAVE A HOSTAGE! WHEN OUR BROWNIES ARE RELEASED, CHROME WILL ALSO BE RELEASED. AND JUST THINK ON THIS.....WHEN THE POLICE FINALY TURN THEIR ATTENTION TO YOU , YOU MAY NOT HAVE ANYWHERE TO HIDE. THE CHURCH'S DOORS MAY CLOSED TO YOU!

umm, how was that...? I better give Chrome a breath-hole....

~tries to remember what he can remember about ecologically friendly force fields from the books in the Library. Unfortunately, can't think of anything straight away. Is not going to let it slip that easily though...~

*Is trudging back through the dark streets to the Church to start a new batch of Brownies.*

*Is lying in a small crater, bound head to toe in duct tape and making himself take a vow never to mess with churches again.*

*standing in the salon, hearing the megaphone*

Archbishop Marv said no, he sez, no, I can't have my church being bound by your Law of Continuity, I will administer the law myself inside my own church.

And now look at what we've got. No sooner do we reach an accord with the group than some gun-waving screeching brownie fundie shows up, commits a violent act and throws the whole narrative into inconsistency. And where's Marv? I tell you, if this is the best he can do with a handful of members, I don't know how anybody can be expected to trust him with the administration of h2g2's presidency. *hmph, tsk-tsk etc*

If they're so all-fired upset about their brownies they should be attacking the police who conducted the raid, not the lab who were given the samples all legal-like.

*makes note for church members about ecologically friendly force field, pointing to how an ant made her way through earlier on without let or hindrance*

I'm going to paint. *Goes into private studio and shuts door*

I apologize to all about my exuberant members. They often let their zeal overcome them. As I have stated before though, I am declaring the CotTB on a Brownie Strike. We shall not freely distribute our Brownies untill this wrong has been righted. Might we keep the demonstration down to a dull roar to help keep good relations with our neighbors?

*The call box crackles to life*

Thanks, Marv. Wise decision about the brownie distributing, too. Anyway, I've got five more brownies tested, just fourteen more to go. Really sorry for delaying the services and all. But hey, it's nice to see that the members of your congregation won't take the "let someone else handle it" mood. Erm, you might want to move to your left a few steps.

*A distant booming sound comes from the observation/war deck of the main CLI building, and a blast-proof (yet easy to open) metal box lands next to the throng of people standing outside. When opened, the box contains the five brownies. Inside, Affy prepares his tongs to test the next brownie*

*thinks, while painting*
I wish someone would untape that poor Chrome.

*Realizes that Chrome is still taped up. Has one of the robots patrolling the perimiter of CLI walk over and pull the tape away from his mouth, allowing him to breathe*

That'll have to do. The robot's too unstable to safely fully untie Chrome.

*Finishes testing the brownie. Thought he saw a razor blade in it, but it was just a dirty lens. Put this one in a bag*

There! Nine more to go, and we can be done with it.

Is it safe for me to go out and untape Chrome?
Marv seems to have corralled his supporters.
I'll be most irritated if I get taped.
I wish the gunman would apply an antidote or something. It won't be fun getting that tape off. Is Chrome very hairy?

*walks over to Chrome*

If he was, he won't be shortly. The silver duct tape does suit his name though. Ah well, onto the untaping...

*shouts* Chrome, can you hear me? *the head shaped piece of duct tape nods* I'm going to untape you now, but I need you to promise me that you will take no action against our member. */shout*

*turns to Church members* I need you guys to promise not to attack Chrome, either. We need to rise above the violence to get closer to the Brownie. Or rather, the Brownies. Or, more to the pount, OUR Brownies.

*starts to untape Chrome, pulling very carefully and gently to minimize any harm. Unfortunately, this also maximizes the time.*

G7

~tries to hide a grin when he sees Gw7en 'helping' Chrome~

I promise. I don't think he means us any harm...

*The call box crackles to life*

Hey, that's the spirit! Listen, I've got about five more brownies to test, and I'm sending out the nine I just finished looking over. So far, so good.

*Ampton runs from the CLI building, carrying a silver platter. When he crosses the force field (don't ask) he drops the platter (containing the nine donuts) and runs back*

*finally finishes untaping Chromw*

There you are then. Do you need any polish or alcohol or anything to remove the last of the stickies?

*rises and gathers the latest batch of brownies to be checked.*

Are you almost finished, Affi? We need to get these back to the church on time. (That reminds me of a song... )

G7

*Sits down guiltily*


ummm......sorry about the tape thing Chrome. I'm a bear. I get riled easily. I promise Marv, no more violence...........not unless you say so.

*tosses megaphone aside*

*reaches over and scratches Baron Slide behind the ears*

Don't worry about it. I'm sure that no one blames you for anything.

G7

Church goers sometimes get fanatical.....it can't be helped.

*takes brownie from blast proof box*