h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Glances around and realises she is alone, except for the guardbot at reception*

Oh dear - I'm lollygagging already!

*tries to get the attention of the guardbot and reads the crossword upside down across the counter*

You've got 14 Down wrong you know - it should say 'AMETHYST'. Have the others gone down the stairs?

*Spots Lentilla zooming past*

I suppose I should just follow on...

*heads towards stairs*

*Realizing that she's fallen behind, Penny heads down the stairs*

*Five years later, Lil finds herself coming back down the stairs. Nothing has changed except that the android sitting at the desk has a more recent copy of Android Weekly lying open to a centerfold. The bot hastily flips the tabloid shut*

So. everything is ticking over as usual, eh? Then why didn't you let Garius in?

*rattling Garius's keys in her hand, Lil walks¹ thoughtfully around the lobby, noticing that it is spotless. She also notices a regular deep throbbing sound, so low and faint that she seems to be picking it up through the soles of her feet, rather than hearing it*


¹Lil is wearing that suspension harness she calls her harkonnen.

*a 5' 7" paper doll made of 20lb cotton bond (aka standard printer paper) appears at the top of the stairs with a canvas duffel bag slung over her shoulder*

*she sets it down, sits astride, and pushes off*

*bump*

*bump*

*bump, bump, bumpbumpbump...* You get the idea

*duffle bag slides to a stop under Lil*

That was fun!

Last time I went on an adventure, I thought mufflewhumps were a bit deus ex machina, but if we're going to be exploring CLI, we could probably use all the deus we can get! If nothing else, a handful of mufflewhumps is better than even the most well stocked first aid kit for you flesh folks. Beats tape all hollow for me, too.

Are there likely to be flame throwers?

That's strange--my edges seem to be vibrating.

*The BondageBeanBag can be seen, rolling and flollopping down the stairs, bumping from side to side and tumbling over and over.*

*Its clatter and bang on the stair-well*#

*It looks mildly panicked by being so out of control*

*to the securibot at the desk* Would you please fetch Ampton? Or Number Eleven, if you can't fetch Ampton.

*the android presses an orange button inset on the surface of the desk, then opens its tabloid to the classifieds and goes back to reading*

This shouldn't have to turn into an adventure. We're just going to let Garius in and give him his keys, right?

Well, then, I can give Garius a welcome back gift

*Peers carefully into the Lobby from the stairwell*

*a large tawny owl appears at the top of the stairs and flaps down to the lobby, losing control slightly and only just stopping short of colliding with the desk when he lands on the floor. He hastily pulls himself upright, trying to make it look as though that's how he always intended to land, and folds his wings away neatly*

Hmm, my feathers are all twitching. Interesting...

*very carefully walls down the stairs close to the wall*

Nice lobby!

*Appears at the top of the stairs and starts down them*

It's been quite some time since I was down here, nearly 4 years I think! Ummm... what's with the vibration?

*peers downstairs and follows*

*shrinking down as small as she can, the flutters down, hiding behind Z*

* stands at the top of the stairs, not sure if she's going down yet

*peers in Ampton's office and then into the conference room and finds them empty*

*Bounds down the stairs enthusiastically until she nearly turns an ankle half way down, staggers, windmills her arms and finishes the journey on her bum.

Jumps up hurridly, pretending nothing happened.*

No harm done! Just trying out some new adventuring boots! My but five inch heels take some getting used to.

*peers down into the stairwell*

Any sign of Garius yet?