h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Wanders in*

Okay, the ship console control. Those things are very expensive, and, depending on what Space System you're in (i.e., the Risa System), illegal.

*Discreetly hands a six-pak of them to Red*

As for the time travel device . . . well, I have one, but it can only be used four times. Well, that's the only one that I have that I can safely give you. The others are either broken or experimentary. Oh, and you can only go forty-two posts into the past. I don't know how that number worked out, it just did.

Okay, as to the matter at hand-yes, Lil, I am able to control which direction things can come from. The only major problem is that when you reset the configuration, you must turn off the machine, and when restarted the portal could lead to somewhere up to a hundred miles away from the original spot.

And my definition of harmless is something that is contained in such a way that it can't do me much harm. I mean, have you ever tried to contain a plasma beast? It ain't easy.

thank you affy, I'll only need the time traveler once, really. I just have to make sure I have them in time to bring them up in a thread a couple of days ago. Less than 42 posts, I'm sure. As for how illegal they are, I have this S.T.U.M.P.E.D. membership card, so it's actually legal for me to do illegal things, and a felony for me to abide by the law. But since either way I'm breaking the law, I stay out of jail. Or is it in jail? I can't remember.

~pops into time traveling device with console controls and arrives before he left~

Thanks again

/Red

Oh, Red. When it comes up, be sure to mention where the devices were manufactured. Thanks.

I wonder if an ecto-regulator would allow you to switch the portal directionality with the power still on. Hmmmmm. Oh, what the heck, why not try it

*Begins installing the ecto-regulator.*

Hey, GL, that's a good idea!

*Thinks*

We should really install a device that makes sure to move portal in the event that it leads to the insides of something. For instance, we don't want to fall into solid rock.

*Finishes installing the ecto-regulator.*

I see what you mean about being able to move the portal - we don't know where it comes out until we actually use it. Maybe we could make some sort of remote sensing device that we could send down first to see what's down there.

Shall we try the new reverse switch?

*goes for sandwiches*

Sure! Why not!

*Thinks*

I'd say "What could go wrong" right now, but we've been down that road before.

I'll give you guys a plug. Let me think -- I think I'll actually put a link in to here on my homepage. And one to the Space Center, and to Damogran. Places I hang out alot. Maybe Lil's Atelier, though that's more the realm of my alter ego (I couldn't load the Damogran thread this morning-- are we unmasking anytime soon? I notice Afgncaap5 is back to afgncaap5 and not the Green Jester anymore)

Afy? Want to requisition a badge from Lil for STUMPED? Oh wait

"We don't need no stinking badges!"

/Red

Yes, Red, we have unmasked. The Damogran thread moved from the ball room to the terrace after the second food fight. The thread's title has something to do with balmy evening. It's still short, so you should be able to load it from home.

I must say, you did a good job of disguising yourself. You had Affy and me running around in circles for a long time. You even deflected my clue about using :: instead of *. I had begun to suspect you, then you made the comment, as Red, about the unfinished book. I knew I had seen your alter-ego make that comment somewhere - I had thought in a Cafe forum, or one of Lil's forums. It turned out to be much more obscure than that. It was in a forum hanging off the article for the book, which I just happened to have read. Anyway, you led us on a merry chase and had us stumped for a long time. Great fun.

Oh, then my secret's out now? Everyone know's I'm Bruce?

*Said mechanically*
We-have-told-no-one-your-true-identity.


*Said normally*

Anyway, I think Davius figured it out the first time that GL postedthat he knew something relating to this. He made a remark later that I found unusual.

*Puts out a sign*


Affy may not be in for any of next week. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Well, now I've unmasked myself and everyone knows. It's actually better this way, as I don't have to decide whether a comment would be out of character -- or too in character for my alter ego.

In fact, since I no longer have to be a costume, I'm free to be an entirely seperate person. It's liberating.

/Red

Well, Red, it's nice to have you around. Although I guess you'll be taking a vacation when Irv takes his road trip in, lets see, 4 weeks.

Which is why I'm glad the masked ball is over. Everyone would have known if I'd disappeared entirely between July 1 and 6

Well, I almost fooled myself with that information. Around June 1st, I was somehow thinking that you should be on your road trip, but Red was still posting. I almost ruled you out on that basis!

*Eats a banana and throws the skin into the worm hole.*

Well, something nasty came out of there, so I don't feel too bad about dumping garbage in, now that the polarity is switched.

*comes back down the stairs cautiously*
Is it safe to be close to? Does it pull?

I think that was during the period that Irving wasn't posting at all, just to throw everyone off of Red's scent.

Yes - you were very clever! Also the comment you dropped as Irv in the cafe, that you hadn't realized the ball had started and that you had planned something elaborate, but there probably wasn't time to do it now that it was so close to the time you were leaving for the summer. Very clever indeed.

Lil - don't worry, it doesn't pull, unless you put some part of your body in it. Then the rest of your body gets sucked in very quickly.
Hey, I just had an idea. With the two of you here, I'd like to try something. I want to see what is on the other side of that wormhole, but I want to be able to get back, too. So, if I jump in, one of you can hit the polarity switch immediately, and I wll be able to jump back in on the other side.

Talk to Affy about a remote control for the polarity switch

Are you really going to trust a member of STUMPED to flip the polarity switch for you? How about this. Lil and I grab you by the ankles, and you jump in. We only let you get waist high in the portal, and then we pull you back out?

*distressed* I couldn't!

I saw the footage of the fellow working the deck of an aircraft carrier who got sucked into one of the engines of an F-16! He lived, had a broken leg and a few cuts, but I'm seeing that image of the man's body being suked up like an oyster when you suggest this.

Oh no, not me. Get Ampton. He's stronger anyway.