h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Never forget: who is the boss of you? ME! I am the boss of you!
~Erik Evari"

Then, the group found the real sign. This said . . .

..."Maximum Security Shipping Company: Official Shipping Company of Intel"
The group realized what it meant by Maximum Security when they looked at the place. They needed to get in and get 11 PIII's but the factory had 345.67 guards, 23 dogs, 4 kittens, 12 watch towers, 999 feet of fence, 1 gate, and a partridge in a pair tree.

"MicroShaft Catacomb Company"

Umm, the sign said that too. So anyway it had heavy security and they needed to get in.

(Nice save Siguy)

Death wondered if he could remember what these catacombs were like. After all, he'd probably spent time in them before. However, no one else wanted to risk going into catacombs what with all the dead bodies, zombies, ghosts, and ocasional monster.

"Look, with all we've come through, do you think that we'd really need to worry about that kind of thing?"

However, no one paid him any attention, because . . .

The one gate was opening as a large heavily armored truck went through. Elliot ran towards the gate without thinking and instantly machine gun fire was heard all around and alerts sounded.

This reminded Death that he was in the wrong story, so he disappeared in a puff of logic. Meanwhile, Bruce and Arnold (the monkey prince) were shouting various obscenities at Eliot and diving for cover. Eliot blinked, as the bullets whizzed past him. "Duh," he thought, "Now what do I do?"

Homer Simpson happened to be walking by (yes, another cameo, but not camo) and stopped conversing with his brain long enough to shout, "Hey Eliot! Aren't these new arcade games fun?"

Now the next researcher liked having the simpsons mentioned but didn't understand the quote so in a puff of power homer disappeared and a bullet hit Elliot in the back ... of his shoe which was sitting next to him. But the next bullet wouldn't miss unless...

the pentium chip controlling the guns failed, which it did. (They were being fired at by some kind of automatic security system, right? I can't remember.)

Then something happened, something so interesting that the half-awake current researcher couldn't think what it was.

It seems that he realized that an automatic machine gun mechanism had never been mentioned but the present researcher thought it was so cool that he tried searching the web to find out how to make one but ended up visiting several erotic petting zoo sites.

Anyway, using the advanced technological know how available to the workers who were maintaining the automatic gun they kicked it and the guns started up again. The group used the brief gun silence to reach the gate before they started up again. They were all pinned down as bullet hit all around them. Just then a man, who was where they were before they tried to break in, walked by carrying 11 pentium III's and 35 cents american. But the group couldn't get to him due to the gunfire and he left the story permanently. This very much pissed off our heroes who were upset over having not waited for him.
The gun shots were deafening and...

and Rambo, who was watching from a makeshift camo treestand, was getting a headache, so he snuck in and did a quick recon/kill-everyone maneuvre and left the story. Permanently. (-That- cameo is gonna -cost- us. )

(Weren't the cameos supposed to be in the original story)

Elliot looked up from the dirt he had jumped in, just in time to see . . .

A short path...

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