h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I can't look! [hides eyes] Wait -- I don't sense any danger. [unhides eyes]

* releases an arrow which lands with a nice thumping sound about half a centimetre from jacculus' left ear *

I wouldn't stay there too long if I were you jacculus. I'm not that good a shot.

* nocks another arrow and prepares to draw *

And YK, I think you can't feel danger because you're not the one who's in trouble.

* draws and releases.....*

* Quickly vanishes from sight. Reappears through door followed by 3 friendly wolves and a small hen,which clucks off into the corner.

Meet Chanulus, Gonhulius and Polius.

* The wolves move round and introduce themselves.

Nope! That's not the reason I don't sense any danger! [uses the Force to knock Jacculus out of the target]

* the arrow hits the target right where jacculus' head had been *

Good thinking, YK, but did you not notice that jacculus had already moved out of the way?

* seizes saidin and weaves a gateway to his archery cupboard. Places the bow on its shelf after removing the string and allows the gateway to close but does not release the Power *

I'm hungry. Anybody fancy a decent meal? Who's for pizza or would you prefer some other kind of take away?

* weaves three gateways, the leftmost one to the best pizza shop in the universe on Omega 5, the centre one to the best chinese takeaway in the universe, in Beijing, and the rightmost one to the absolute best Alledari takeaway in the universe, located in the city of Dero on Alledora *

Take your pick, but don't take too long.

* ties off the weaves and releases saidin *

Tied off gateways have a nasty habit of closing after about ten minutes.

* steps through the rightmost one and debates food choices, trying to work out the Alledari Marks/Pounds Sterling exchange rate today *

We posted almost simultaneously. He did it first.

Wow! that was clever of us.

* Runs through pizza door and re-emerges with mushroom 18-inch.

Mmmmmm. Tasty.

* Offers wolves a slice each, which they take delicately.

Wow. The best I can do is ravenous. [pull back to reveal that he's standing on a chair dropping pizza to a (ravenous) different set of wolves]

*Pops out from whatever rift he had fallen into, and drops to the ground, sniffing*

SOMEONE has had Jellybeans!!!!!!!!!!!

Gimme!!!

* Points staff at ceiling. Small hole opens up, through which an infinite supply of jelly beans falls and will now do till the end of time. Any jelly beans which are allowed to fall disappear about 2cm from the ground, where to is unclear.

Hey Tim! You're back. Jacculus, the jelly beans are clearly looping round and falling again to avoid wastage.

Tim, why not choose a gateway before they close?

* as he finishes speaking, all three gateways narrow into vertical silvery slashes which promptly vanish. *

Oh well. Tell me what you want and I'll make you your own special gateway.

*Holds buckect under jelly-fall for a short while*

A gateway? How about to england so I can visit for free!

*Removes bouncy castle from pocket and places on the ground where the gateways used to be*

*Takes bucket out and begins to eat*

er... Jelly bean anyone? (Just fro politeness, you can all get your own from the falls, thanks jacculus!)

I think something really bizzare is going on.

[He tries to use the Force to move the destination of one of the gateways, which to his surprise falls over and explodes. It creates an earthquake-like disturbance in the Earth and the Force, causing a fissure to appear below them. All four beings and all 42,934,703,970,139,871,039,871,390,790,542 jelly beans (Well, only 407,109,751,092 of the jelly beans so far) fall in. They find themselves floating among stars of all different rainbow colors. The jellybeanfall, which is coming out of a hurricane-like disturbance, is pooling below them. A whirlpool of jellybeans forms at one point, presumably leading back to the room.]

I was right.

*Shrugs, and begins to load arms with jellybeans, after finishing the bucket*

I dont mind, as long as the beans are here!

I didn't like that room much anyway.

Computer,add stone walls and ceiling and elastic floor.

* begins to bounce enthusiastically

I think this forum is getting too big. anybody agree? I do have a 14.4 modem remember.

* seizes saidin and opens a gateway to the new forum which Tim will set up, won't he? *

Coming?

Righto!

http://www.h2g2.com/forumframe.cgi?forum=31941&thread=47310