h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Are you on my side or against me?

*Removes large portion of jacks head with meat cleaver, and uses said head to unlock the spell on MaW.*

We cant have infuriatingly cute things now can we? No!

*Charges unexpectedly at jacculus for creating it*

* Withdraws a Summon Minion ter'angreal and activates it, causing a Warder (armed with his very sharp broadsword) to appear in front of him. *

Now you try and get through him! Ha!

* Laughs evilly and takes out a fireball ter'angreal just in case anyone gets too close. *

I might let someone else get through ... [he and the Warden start dueling and get so intense they push each other into a corner]

* wonders wildly waht a ter'angreal is

I'm with you,YK! at least in this thread...

* Becomes very annoyed at people cancelling his spells all the time and makes a magic in the corner which begins speaking the words of a wonderful book.

"Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western spiral arm of the galaxy..."

[YK hits the Warden's hilt, and both blades explode. Both characters get thrown backward: YK crashes into Jacculus, and the Warden crashes into MaW.

A ter'angreal is a very cool object, okay? Leave it at that.

* stumbles backwards as the WARDER - (notice the spelling) collides with him. Becomes angered and uses Balefire to dispose of the Warder who was really just an annoyance. Activates a Fire Shield, hoping it protects against lightsabres (there being no Light Shield ter'angreal), and leaps to engage YK in single combat with his Power-wrought katana (which basically means it's real hard to break ie impossible) *

* Plugs deep fat fryer into MaW's power supply. Katana flickers in and out of existence.

Anyone for fried mushrooms?

[YK leaps up off Jacculus and proceeds to defend himself] I'll try! [uses the Force to pop a shroom into his mouth] Nope -- try not! Looks like that's a "do".

*Pulls a small tube out of pocket and hoists it into the air. A small switch on the side activates a Light Javelin, which he hurls at YK*

Nothing personal YK, I've just not hurled it at anybody for a while!

*peers out nervously from some hiding place* Tim.. When you moved in did you ever expect it would be so difficult to keep a house clean?

'Nonnie

* withdraws Whirlwind ter'angreal and uses it to clean up, dumping all combatants (bar himself) into the rubbish bin *

There you go 'Nonnie. Much cleaner now

* grins, spots the mushrooms and Balefires them *

Hate mushrooms.

What?!? Hate mushrooms?!? You must be mad!!!

* Produces large bag of mushrooms and hands round.

* Tries to think of something more imaginative and less damaging to the Pattern than using Balefire on the mushrooms. *

Ahah! I have the perfect idea!

* Grabs a Taint ter'angreal and modifies it to affect mushrooms. Activates. All mushrooms in the room immediately turn into exactly what the person holding them hates to eat the most. Unfortunately, the ter'angreal is not immune to its own effects, and turns into (horror of horrors) a beetroot-flavoured mushroom! *

Oh, yuck, that's revolting!

* throws beetroot-flavour mushroom away *

That's the worst thing I can think of! I'm getting out of here!

* seizes saidin and opens a gateway - a silvery vertical line appears in the air and widens/rotates to reveal a dark room with lots of cool columns - MaW's private retreat. MaW steps through and the gateway closes. *

* pause *

* the gateway opens again, and MaW steps back in. *

If I can channel, why do I need to use ter'angreal? Oh well, some things in life are made to be complicated.

* pulls out a bag of jelly beans. *

Anybody for a jelly bean?

SHROOMS! [calms himself]

JELLY BEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* in case that wasn't loud enough, seizes saidin and weaves Fire and Air to amplify his voice *

[amazingly loudly] JELLY BEANS!!!!!!!!!!!

* Eats a Jelly Bean and waits for reactions. *

[Which come presently in the form of the Taco Bell chiuahua, which enters and explodes]

Now I'm confused.

It's all very simple. The response to your exclaimation was the Taco Bell Chiuahua, which walked in and exploded.

So the Taco Bell Chihuahua just walked in for no apparent reason and then exploded for an even less apparent reason? Ah, life is beginning to get delightfully crazy again. I'll jut sit back and watch.

* uses the One Power to weave a chair from Air, on which he sits and leans back. *

This is the life!

* looks around *

Tim, what's happened to your hospitality? Are there any drinks?