h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It does? Goodness, if it all makes sense I must be slipping
See you at the Meet then eh FC?
shazzPRME (Minister for Relaxation)

well, it possibly makes sense to me... but my brain is working slightly more at the mo as I'm at uni.. give me a few hours and it could very well be a complete muddle again!

and yes Shazz... looking forward to the meet immensly!

well, it possibly makes sense to me... but my brain is working slightly more at the mo as I'm at uni.. give me a few hours and it could very well be a complete muddle again!

and yes Shazz... looking forward to the meet immensly!

I definately need to relax - and Shazz, don't suppose you could get my foot out of my mouth?

I need a massage.

I badly need a massage.

Someone... please... do something with my neck muscles...

*Carefully removes BB's foot from his mouth, although she is not sure how it managed to get there!, makes sure that there isn't a tight muscle left in his body and points him in the direction of the steam room for some extra hot treatment*
*Turns to Amy and notices the obvious bundle of throbbing pain in her neck*
Oh dear Amy... that does look bad! I think that you will need some hot towels on there before I start to work.
*Disappears into the little room on the left and comes back laden with steaming towels, all carefully labelled as 'Mr Garibaldi's linen factory... we're soft at heart'.*

shazzPRME (Minister for Relaxation)

*comes in and collapses on the nearest table*

Thought... I'd... never get... here...

Oh my oh my! I wish that someone would reply to my classified ad! It's getting really busy in here!
How about I pop you into the mud bath for starters Wowbagger? I am sure that you would look very fetching in the specially imported blue mud Mr G has provided! You know the motto:
'The best goo is always blue!'
A couple of days in there will do wonders for your complexion and aching muscles
shazzPRME (Minister for Relaxation)

*DD gets to work on Wowbagger*

Wow! DD
I'm VERY impressed with your mud technique! Where did you learn to do that?
shazzPRME (Minister for Relaxation)

*Watches as DD drives another JCB full of mud in it's scoop into the house of relaxation, and dumps it on Wowbagger*
Ah - I wondered where the JCBs from the beach went....

mud mud mud mud mud MUD mud mud
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
*sigh*

"Mud, mud, glorious mud,
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood,
So follow me follow
Down to the hollow
Where we will wallow
In glorious mud."

Ahhh the marvellous (and very British) Flanders & Swann did that one! A most excellent song indeed!

A bold hippopotamus was standing one day
on the banks of the cool Shadimar (?)....

Yes indeed
Whilst you enjoy the half a ton of bloo mud, ponder also on the sad tale of the Columbine and the Bindweed
shazzPRME (Minister for Relaxation)

"The fragrant honeysuckle spirals clockwise to the sun..."

My favourite lyrics to that are:

'Said the left handed bindweed
to the right handed honeysuckle
"We'd better start saving:
Many a mickle macks a muckle
then run away for our honeymoon
and hope that our luck'll
take a turn for the better."
said the bindweed to the honeysuckle.'

A beautiful song to think of while wallowing in mud!
I'm feeling better already!

I'm pleased to hear it Wowbagger
shazzPRME (Minister for Relaxation)

So.
I've been sitting in this tub now for about 6-7 days and I'm feeling quite good, though a little wrinkly.
Any chance for that massage now?

Yes indeed Wowbagger
I am just taking on a new recruit... I will ask her to drop by and start on you asap!
In the meantime, I suggest that you drop into the steam room next door and clean the mud off... followed by a quick dip in the Refreshment Pool... you may take your 's with you of course!
shazzPRME (Minister for Relaxation)

*floating in, in haste*

Sorry, did somebody call?

Mr Wowbagger, are you ready for your massage?

*Wowbagger returns from pool area with towel wrapped around his hip*

Would you please lie down on this couch, sir?

*starts rubbing her hands together to warm them up*