h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*opens the door, enters with fresh towels and a clean sheet which she drapes over the massage table*

*squints at the air conditioning settings, making sure it's not too hot and not too cold in the room*

*opens windows (which in no way will affect the AC) to let in the scents and sounds of summer; birds chirping, freshly cut grass, rose garden*

*lights a scent lamp with lavender oil*

*skulks in, wearing naught but a thick white terry cloth towel, does a belly flop upon the massage table and settles in face down*

*sigh.......*

*rubbing her hands together to warm them up, applying some orange oil cream*

*carefully pulls the towel down far enough to expose FG's back*

*starts with loooong strokes with the palms of her hands, going uuuuup and dooooown, doooooown and uuuuuuuup*

*gradually the strokes grow firmer*

*left hand holding a firm but gentle grip of FG's right shoulder to hold her steady*

*right palm changing from strokes to small and firm circular movements, around and around, around and around, going down and up and down and up, making sure to cover every spot on the left side of FG's back*

*walks over to the other side after a while, repeating the circles on the right side of the back*

*wanders in*

*see Titania has this customers nbeeds in hand as it were*

*wanders out again*

*sighs with contentment*

*nods at DD, smiles*

*walks back to the left side again, starts working her way down along FG's spine - massaging the muscle that runs along both sides of the spine*

*with the heel of her right hand she presses into the muscle, pushes it outwards from spine, releases - press, push, release - press, push, release*

*each push placed a little bit lower down the back than the previous one*

*repeats the process going up the back again, working slowly and methodically*

*wiggles her toes happily*

*slowly walks over to the other side while shaking her hands to relax her wrists, being a bit out of practice*

*starts working on the muscle on the other side of FG's back*

*press, push, release - press, push, release - press, push, release...*

*walks back to the left side, pulls towel up a bit to keep the lower part of FG's back warm while concentrating on the upper part*

*right hand's fingers slightly bent, starts making very small circles with her finger tips (petrissage) on the right side of FG's upper back, carefully avoiding pressing on the shoulderblade bones*

*walks over to the right side, repeats the procedure*

*small circles*

*small circles*

*small circles*

*adds another soft towel on FG's back to cover more of her back*

*starts working on the 'hump' spot*

*gently presses slightly bent thumbs into the area surrounding (note - surrounding) the 'hump' spot, with other fingers holding a firm grip over FG's shoulders, using elbows for a lever effect*

*patiently works her way all around the 'hump' spot*

*each completed round followed by another round, slightly smaller, slowly approaching the centre of the 'hump' spot*

*starts working on FG's shoulders, kneading them gently as if baking, one hand on each shoulder*

*after warming the muscles up, proceeds to next step*

*places both hands on FG's left shoulder, pushes with one hand and pulls with the other, making it look as if she was wringing water out of a rag*

*relaxes her grip*

*pulls with one hand and pushes with the other*

*relaxes her grip*

*pull, push*

*relax*

*push, pull*

*relax*

*with every push and pull FG's shoulder muscles are gradually stretched out*

*switches to FG's right shoulder after a while - push, pull, relax - push, pull, relax - push, pull, relax - push, pull, relax*

*the methodical and rythmical routine is quite soothing*

*walks over to the head end of the massage table*

*takes a firm yet gentle grip around FG's neck, thumb on one side of the neck, the other fingers on the other side*

*pulls the muscles on the side of the neck up, out, and release*

*gently works her way bit by bit up FG's neck, and then down again, and then up, and then down*

*up, out, release - up, out, release - up, out, release - up, out, release*

*pulls the towel up all the way to FG's neck*

*gets a woollen blanket (soft lamb's wool) and covers FG with it*

Would you please turn over on your back once you feel ready, Ma'm?

*disappears behind a discreetly placed screen to wash the cream off her hands so as not to mess up FG's hair too much*

*rolls over with a barely audible sigh*

*adjusts towel for maximum respectability*

*walks over to the head end of the table, pulls up a stool and sits down*

*gently massages FG's neck at the points where the neck muscles connect with the base of the skull, using fingertips*

*making sure that FG is completely relaxed before next step*

*gets a gentle yet firm grip around the base of FG's skull*

*starts pulling v-e-r-y slowly, millimetre by millimetre, carefully elongating FG's spine, making all vertebrae line up neatly, leaving FG feeling slightly taller than usual*

*sighs with happiness and relaxation*

*starts her famous scalp massage*

*petrissage combined with gentle pulls of big tufts of hair, alternating, improving circulation, extremely relaxing*

*listens to FG's breathing*

*once it has grown very regular T. quietly tip toes out of the room, carefully closing the door behind her*