h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

SuperMoo...Hearing the off tune music...
Calls the Gods of Cow House fo divine assistance on the Cow Celphone...

Upon the breaking of the conection...
Curses...Accursed phone...curse the poor reception...

SuperMoo decides to stick S.L.U.G.S. bullets into his ears...

ahh, much, much better....

[whim:load the Spam-apults]

Are we at war then?

Im newly recruited what should i do too help!!!!

Read the blog and tell me what's going on.

Arrgghhh whats the blog???

It means backlog.

[whim: fire Spam-apult]

Spam-apult fires spam...

spam rains down on troops...certain death is imminent...okay...maybe just get pelted with canned meat...

Hah, your canned luncheon meat can't harm me, I'm vegitarian

*tins bounce harmlessly of his rather impressive non-meateating body*

*pulls out a, huge, 2 gallon water gun, loaded with gravey and procedes to fire at SuperMoo*

*uses his ARSEHOLE to destroy the spam-apults*

*attacks Supermoo's Lardwarriors with his B.L.A.N,G*
(Barrel-Launching Army Napalm-Gun)

*barrels rain down on the enemy army*

*comes out onto the field dressed as a *

*pulls a riduclously large something out of his doctor's bag*

a R.E.C.A.L.L. (Ridiculously Enormous Cuckoo Attack Lander Launcher)


*fires a Cuckoo attack lander*

is this going where I think it is...The Cuckoo mass swarm move from the Zelda games...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[SuperMoo thinks...]

[SuperMoo realizes that when this sorta thing happened in Ocerina of time Link either mounted his horse, used that blue shield thingy, ran away, or died...HE ALSO HAD A SWORD...]

SuperMoo calls up the Gods of Cow House, more at A2062964, in an atempt to secure himself a mighty blade of biblical or mythical proportions or maybe just one that is very powerful...either will do...

Gods send the Sword of Leagends...

[Same one that Viking Bob used...for info on 'who the heck Viking Bob is' and 'What is sooooo special about this fancy pants Sword of Legends' go to A2268290]

SuperMoo prepares to fend off what is thought to be a 'Mass Swarm of Cuckoos'



P.S.: EvilClaw, you might what to sharpen those claws...might be some Cuckoo on the grill for dinner so also remember to bring the barbeeque sauce...

*EvilClaw unsheaths claws and prepares for bloodletting*
*Makes cheesy comment about this is why hes not allowed to be a dentist anymore*

[whim: fire spamapaults]

The lardwarriors of EvilClaws division launch spam at opponents. There hasn't been this much bad canned meat since the SPAM war (SPanish-AMerican war).

EvilClaw bothered by Claws voice in his head, hits head on .

SuperMoo unsheaths Sword of Legends and also prepares for the spearing of the barbeeque from across the table...er...for the bloodletting...

[whim:prepare to fire S.L.U.G.S. R.E.B.S. Guns with S.L.U.G.S. Pellets]

[whim:fire S.L.U.G.S. R.E.B.S. Guns]

A hailstorm of small Pea like ultra green slime pellets rains down in such mass quantities that it imobilizes several members of the opposing army in sticky ultra green slime...

*Yuvi returns with Sea Monkey Battalion 328










*the rockets are armed with tons of and are awaiting orders

EvilClaw deftly proves that black is white and gets himself killed at the next crosswalk...

I mean EvilClaw summons his navy and airforce...

while waiting:

[whim: put on T.A.R.G.E.T. armor]
[whim: fire spam at masters of the multiverse]
[whim: strike overly dramatic poses while doing so]


... Wait, I don't have a navy or airforce.

oh well... keep firing @$$ holes (referring to lardwarriors).

Look every1, i found an infinite supply of towels!



Now we can all clean off the green slime. just make the smiley to make one appear in your hand.

Now to take care of some business...

* orders SMB 328 to fire on LARDWARRIARS




* enemy guns clogged with caramel sauce, some LARDWARRIARS fall on floor turned sticky with light brown, Puerto Rican custard

I love . EvilClaw eats large amount of causing him to feel . bugger... *collapse*

[whim: Lardwarriors use S.A.L.T.S (Simulated Astronomicaly Large Teaspoon of Stuff)]

S.A.L.T.S. was originally designed against S.L.U.G.S when I was fighting the cows but it works against any sticky binding substance. It also dehydrates.

wish I had some ginger .

flan sticky dissolves leaving lard warriors free...

Now to wait for my airfor- Oh wait! Never mind.