h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

SuperMoo Aproches A2036611 with a very massive army of L.A.R.D.W.A.R.R.I.A.R.S.(Large Always Ready Devious Warriors Accessorized Robotically Resourceful In Action-packed Repetitive Sequels) as well as a large number of trebuchettes, Spam-a-pults, and other gadgets,gismos, and stuff...
SuperMoo orders L.A.R.D.W.A.R.R.I.A.R.S.:

[whim:set up trebuchettes]

followed by

[whim:arm trebuchettes with Spam]

[whim:FIRE!]

All of a sudden a rain of spam is seen hurling down from the heavens onto the Masters of the Multi-verse.

One such projectile, taking a parabolic tradgectory and falling at a rate of g [when g is the acceleration due to earths gravity nearthe surface], flies down and slames into the side of a randomly placed portipotty, knocking the portipotty with its contents onto it's side...conveniently the door side...random shouts are herd eminating from the bowels of the portipotty...

SuperMoo chuckles at the thought of seeing the hilarious image of a person covered in blue liquid mixed with portipotty contents stepping out of the above mentioned portipotty...

[SuperMoo takes this time to make a well placed speach...snoring is soon herd...]

Hello...I am The Grand Duke of The Cows from The Cow House...
I, and my great army of L.A.R.D.W.A.R.R.I.A.R.S., have allied ourselves with EvilClaw...the founder of the Evil Army...Our goal is to just cause general mahem throughout the Universe/Multiverse/Aniverse...ery/General Areas...
And you are the unlucky persons that are unlucky enough to recieve this attack of Spam, the meat not the email, marvel at my Evilernacity...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...hee hee haw haw haw...giggle..snort...giggle giggle...

Oh and the alternative excuse I give for this invasion is it was...pure whim...

umm, would you like to join the members of STUMPED in hawaii?

Also, we don't have a portapotti, so whoever that belongs to, and it sounds like they may be in it at the moment, is not going to be happy.

I say, let's throw at them.

*worried look*

ah well, at least the person knows how to have a war PROPERLY

*loads the tomato gun*

[Aims Tomato gun]

*fires a Commando Supermoo*

MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

*cough choke*

(ow i'm getting a sore thraot from doing that!)

Two battles at once! This will have to be taken care of.

Or something.


Hey, General Cow! Wanna join us and fight against STUMPED? We're basically trying to make them go nuts and go away.
And then, if you want, we could have a decent food-fight.

err, I think the stumped army and fleet have gone away.

why don't you sing at him, or make him watch your fave film, either of those should horrify him into submition

Yeah, I just realised that stumped is gone. What have we been doing on that thread all this time?

*goes and reads the "against you" backlog* Oh yeah, I remember now... *giggle* thast was pretty fun.

I think that when the cow comes back I might indeed use my Karaoke Attack... so prepare your earplugs!

[Tomato Slams into SuperMoo]
[SuperMoo falls over and starts being overdramtic]
[SuperMoo relizes it is only a tomato]
[SuperMoo orders L.A.R.D.W.A.R.R.I.A.R.S.]

[whim:hide behind T.A.R.G.E.T.'s(Tarmac Armor Repels Giant Egrets & Tomatoes)]

About the joining of forces...
Talk to my supperior, EvilClaw...he should be around soon...


[SuperMoo raises his own T.A.R.G.E.T. for protection and decides to wait for EvilClaw's commands...]
[Yet again giggles about the upturned portipotty...]

Well, you asked for it...

*takes out a sub-machine-gun loaded with blackberries, and starts shooting like a maniac*

Whips out his S.L.U.G.S. R.E.B.S. Gun(Satiricaly Large Ultra Green Slime Rapid Emmission Boom Stick Gun)

Orders L.A.R.D.W.A.R.R.I.A.R.S. to do the same...

[whim:whip out S.L.U.G.S. R.E.B.S. Gun]

Starts fireing from behind his tarmac sheild in the general direction of Lady Pennywhistle hoping he hits and wondering where in the world EvilClaw is...

Due to his short attention-span SuperMoo reads the warning label on his sheild...

Tested for use in protecting agaist Giant Egrets and Tomatoes...Don't use near open flame...Not for children under the age of 50 bovential years...

Curse the need for conversions...continues firing whilst trying to figure out how many standard years are in 50 bovential years...

Ah somewhere around...21 days...[calves can stand up faster than humans can...doen't that qualify them for special privlages...like having their very own sheilds?...]

EEP! I'm hit!




*dives into Entertainment Room for shelter


A weapon would help...

Maybe a Super-Evil Flan Launcher?

Any1 eaten flan before?

Hmm.

*gets out his A.R.S.E.H.O.L.E*(Annoying ridiculously small energy-ording onion-launcher-extremo)

*fires at "supermoo"*

*AK is hit from behind by EvilClaw who had just approached from behind with a legion of lardwarriors*

[whim: attack]
[whim: attack in dramatic poses]

EvilClaw pulls out a T.U.R.K.Y. (Tactical Ukrainian-Russian Kinetic Yo-yo).

I WILL take over the aniverse..ary, thingy...

And we'll take over the universe, deal?

*The B.O.O.M.E.D. Appears surrounding the lard warriors[Baking Oven Of Mighty Evil Doom], presumedly melting them(if they're made of lard)*

*gets out guitar, plays it badly and starts to sing out of tune*

Jonnie's in the basement mixin' up the medicine,
I'm on the pavement worryin' 'bout the government,
Man in a trench coat, bad job, Laid off,
Says he's got a bad cough want's to get it paid off.
Look out kid
it's somethin you did,
God knows when
but you're doin it again...

*produces a clean plastic evidence bag which contains a britney spears CD*

could i be that cruel?

yes!

*puts in ear plugs*

*plays it*

*still playing guitar badly, at the end of the last song the tune gradually changes and he starts to sing out of tune again*

Hey, mr tambourine man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey, mr tambourine man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

Though I know that evenin's empire has returned into sand,
Vanished from my hand,
Left me blindly here to stand but still not sleeping.
My weariness amazes me, I'm branded on my feet,
I have no one to meet
And the ancient empty street's too dead for dreaming.

I knew this sort of thing would happen as soon as Jack started advertising!

No, no the lardwarriors aren't made of lard. Thats just a conveinant (mispelled) acronym.

[whim: Break out of oven]

The lardwarriors break out of the oven and grab the britney cd.

I will take over anyverse I choose, including but no limited to the universe, the multiverse, the supermarket aisle and the space under my couch.

Coincidentally i like .

[whim: set up catapults]

Then you can drop by our tearoom. F1685908?thread=349571