h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Orders SMB 328 to fall back to pick up secret land forces

That's it for today- but, , I know your weakness Evilclaw....

MWAHAHAHAHAHA

Ah-Ha
*produces a bag from which he pells, a wooden sword, a metal sword, a magic sword, the kokiri sword, the master sword, a yellow boomerand, a blue boomerang, a bow with wooden, silver and light arrows, some bombs, a blue ring, a red ring, a hookshot, a grapple, a small shield, a magic shield, a kokiri shield, a hylian shield, a mirror shield, several ocarinas, a conductors baton and a tlking boat with a horse in it and a fairy which keeps shouting 'hey' flying round it*

ah, here it is.

*pulls from bag a cheese sandwich and starts to eat*

*borrows a few of those things, equipt some boulders with them, and sends them rolling into combat.*

SuperMoo Decides to launches septic tanks from trebuchettes at the enemy just for the hell of it...

[whim:load septic tank into trebuchettes...]

[whim:prepare and attach explosives to septic tanks...]

[whim:light septic tank fluids...]

[whim:launch flaming septic tanks]

as the flying flaming septic tanks come directly overhead enemy...

[whim:detonate plastic explosives...]

while watching the mayhem caused by this smelly flaming substance raining down upon the enemy forces SuperMoo decides to have dinner...

grabs some remaining and the Barbeque sauce from EvilClaw and proceeds to innundate the with barbeque sauce...then starts to eat the barbeque sauce cover with great delight...barbeque sauce goes good on everything...pizza, apples, lettuce, fruit rollups...tortilla chips...graham crackers...I think that there should be a barbeque sauce holdster in every car...you never know when you might need it...

How old is that sandwich?

* decides to Have some and and have a picnic on the battle field

Wanna join us, Evil?

Realizing the fact that he doesn't have the upper hand of this battle and the fact that he is now COMPLETELY OUT OF BBQ SAUCE[nooooooo!] SuperMoo Decides to take dasterly derastic mesures...

[whimspread S.L.U.G.S. Bombs across the battle feild...]

once this is complete...

[whim:detonate S.L.U.G.S. bombs after you fearless leader...has run away to rebuild his forces...hey Napoleon did something of the sort...]

SuperMoo runs away yelling:

DON'T WORRY I'LL BE BACK...SOMETIME TOMMARROW MOST LIKELY...POSSIBLY THE DAY AFTER THOUGH...

afterwhich an MASSIVE explosion of Ultra Green Slime Cover The Battlefield leaving all there parrilized while SuperMoo and EvilClaw Excape...at least I think EvilClaw is exaping with me...I HOPE EvilClaw is Excaping with me...

I'll be back...I REALLLLLLY will...

*plays the wind's requiem, and makes the wind blow the burning cesspit contense back on SuperMoo*

Way to use that Zelda knowledge!

Oh my god, how much fun did I miss?

This is not fair, we're changing internet suppliers so we have no internet at home right now... I had to come to work just to use the internet!

Listen, I'll be away all Saturday, so could you please have a boring fight till I come back?

Please?





Oh, never mind then... I see I'll have a lot of catching up to do.

All the best, comrades!

*makes a fresh sandwhich*

EvilClaw returns with more Lardwarriors, more spamapaults, tons of barbecue sauce and some peptal bismal. Just in case.

"Prepare the "L.A.S.E.R." (Longly accidental super earwax rifle)

"Fire the "L.A.S.E.R.""

Rockets armed with flan destroyed by earwax. EvilClaw grabs and wears it like a cape. no?

EvilClaw waits for ammo for the new weapon...

A Squadren of F.F.S.T.(Flying Flaming Septic Tanks) Flies over the battle feild...

RENFORCEMENTS...

An entire army of E.V.I.L.M.I.N.I.O.N.S.(Evil Villainous Industrial-strength Large Minions Ingaging Numerously In Overwhelmingly Numerous Sections) is then droped from the flying septic tanks with wings...

[splat...splat...splat...]<-sound of E.V.I.L.M.I.N.I.O.N.S. hitting battlefeild...don't worry they can't be killed...well at least not as a reasult of falling from a height...other killing methods...probably...just not height...

The Commander of this division of the army...EVILMINION XJ33390[pronounced:Evilminion X-J-Tripple three-Ninety]...delivers a message from SuperMoo:

EvilClaw...These Troops as well as the FFST division, the E.V.I.L.M.I.N.I.O.N.S., are also whimsically controled just like the L.A.R.D.W.A.R.R.I.A.R.S. only you must put the prifix on whim...
{EMwhim=evilminions order}
{FFSTwhim=FFST order}
use them to your advantage...oh and they have an integrated T.A.G.E.T. armor system as well as weapon systems...the weapons are really part of them they just change their shape to that of the weapon...so this requires an extra order...i.e.:
[EMwhim:arm with S.L.U.G.S. R.E.B.S. Guns]

oh...
AnD mAy ThE sHwArArArArArArTz Be WiTh YoUoUoUoUoUoOoOoOo...[wavy motion...]

*the wind continues to blow the contents of the FFST all over SuperMoo*

You Doofus, i called BACK the rockets to pick up and deliver the new to battle troops. They weren't even there when you fired at them.

Look, here they come...

(that's new troops to battle. guess i'm kind of a doofus too )

EvilClaw grimly makes obsene hand gesture.
[EMwhim: arm with L.A.S.E.R.s]
[LWwhim: enemies]
[FFSTwhim: attack s ]

EvilClaw pulls out the dual swords of good and evil, one of the many benefits of being a dual individual. You know: Claw and EvilClaw.

Stupid lack of ammo for new super weapon of doom and stuff.

Coincidentally: what is benovolent insanity? Stick around and find out (false advertising).

So, now I have an air force of flying septic tanks (EvilClaw shakes head), two groups of soldiers, me, my industructable new weapon which is useless as of now, and a surprise.

*Dramatic pause*
Fire the "L.A.S.E.R.
*Resulting explosion (not of lasers, no)*