h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

SuperMoo decides now is as good a time as any to play in what he thinks is mud...

realizes that it's not mud...order the F.F.S.T. division to stop dropping droppings and start shooting Turd Flak to down the Rockets...they don't stop...realizes that he has handed over the division to EvilClaw who is busy making old stale pun that SuperMoo still finds histerical...

SuperMoo wonder if this has anything to do with the portipotty...still lying on it's side with someone still in it...which he launched canned meat into at the beginning of the war...starts to...yet again...giggle...

Stops long enough to yell at EvilClaw to order the FFST division to start shooting Turd Flak at the rockets...

*before ear wax hits the rockets the monster reinforcements sky dive into swarm of EVILMINIONS and begin to eat them.



(multiply this times 20)

*Sea monkeys escape the crippled rocket fleet in s and disappear mysteriously after rockets explode in a chain reaction that creates a giant ball of purple flame

SuperMoo...again unsheaths his mighty Sword of Legends and...tired of having this question of doubtability on his mind runs for the portipotty and slices it open...and out pops a magical genie named Lou...giggle...Lou grants SuperMoo three wishes...

Wish one...
[it had something to do with monsters and there complete anihilation...can't remember what it is...oh yea I remember...]
Completely anihilate the monsters...that are under my bed...

that done SuperMoo now feels much safer about going to sleep without the nightlight...

Whish Two...
[curses I can't remember that one either...it had something to do with cleaning off all the turds on something...oh I remember...]

I wish that my bathroom was clean...

Wish Three...
[it had something to do with winning and a war...what was it...oh yea I always wanted one of those...]

I wish I had a Victorious Yankee Civil War Action Doll of Actionticity...

After the last wish Lou bid A-doo...Do you think I've killed the portipotty joke...you know I'm definately going to incorperate it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and...[snore...snore...snore...snore......snore...pop!] wha I'm awake I herd everything I said when you thought I was asleep...

all that done SuperMoo turns his blade upon the s and slashes and hacks and slashes and then remembers that he forgot to ask the genie for an endless suply of BBQ sauce...and then continues slashing and hacking...after all of this slashing and hacking he has distroyed all but the magority of the monsters and becones EvilClaw to joing in the fun...

[EMwhim: obey supermoo]
[FFSTwhim: obey supermoo]
[LWwhim: obey supermoo]
[EMwhim: equip F.A.R.T.S. (Fantastically Abstract Revolving Telescoping Swords) and attack the monsters]

EvilClaw throws BBQ sauce to Supermoo and then starts attacking the monsters with the Dual blades of good and evil (Sold in any major store while supplies las- TOO LATE!)

[FFSTwhim: Attack with turd flak]
[LWwhim: attack with S.L.U.G.S.R.E.B. ]

Draco swoops down with a in his claws. Sea monkies can be seen bailing out.
Hey EvilClaw. I'm here to join but the rest of the s appear to be . Oh well I'm here. Look what I found by the way *points to * I ed on it a little.

Lord Draco

*sends in a just add water grunt to take a status report on what has happened since the begging before his master decides on entering the battle*

Well, our leader has been gone a long time and since then we have been invaded by captain Evilclaw, SuperMoo, and the Draco guy. They are commanding a force of acronyms against my army of monster smileys.

I would not call it begging, and I'm new so please pardon my ignorance. I just saw that your guild was allied with ours and thought to inform you of our apprecition for any help we could get.

*loads his P.O.T.A.T.O*
(Porta-potty Of Terrible Attack, Terrifyingness, and Oddity*)
*inserts the F.E.C.E.S*
(Fragmentation Egg Containg Extra Sh*t)
*fires*

*sends back the grunt*


master says that this is not hte type of battle he fights, but u can have an endless supply of add water grunts if u like</>

SuperMoo, trying to be very cool, sticks his blade vertically so as to slice through the F.E.C.E.S. and the two halves to spread apart and miss him...

But...by some weird twist of fate...

he holds the blade too close and the F.E.C.E.S. hits him anyway...

[is this begining to be a standard...you know...me covered with some sort of droppings... ...yet again thinks of that portipotty and the genie, Lou...]

Remembering the trebuchettes that are still sitting along the perimiter of the battle feild...orders troops

[EMwhim:load EVILMINIONS into trebuchette...]

[EMwhim:fire trebuchettes]

[EMwhim::throw spam into spare septic tanks...]

[EMwhim:load trebuchettes with Spam/Septic Tank Combo]

[EMwhim:FIRE TREBUCHETTES...]

ECHO...ECho..echo...echo...

SPLAT splat splat slat...[sound of EVILMINIONS hitting ground]

[EMwhim:Attack the s

EVILMINIONS begin attacking s from behind with F.A.R.T.S.

*Laughs at supermoo then yawns.

I'm heading out of here for a while ...

*making another brief appearnce, since we STILL haven't got internet at home *

Well, have I got something for you!

Wanna know what I'm attacking you with? No, really, do you wanna know?

Alright, I've got:
NOTHING (Nasty, Oviously Threatening, Hyper-Intensive Nose Grabber)!
NADA (Nifty Assembly of Destructive Aardvarks)!!
ZILCH (Zapping Instrument that Looks Casually Hip)!!!




Oh, and since we are dealing with cows, I thought it might be useful to summon some torreadores.

*claps hands twice. A single guitar is heard, playing a Spanish tune, and through a rain of red roses appears a small army of brightly-dressed torreadores, followed by a big noisy Animal Rights demonstration*

Cool effects, huh?

*arives in the battle ground*
*looks round*
ok... i see what is hapening here...
the allies have arived it seemes... even without a great deal of payment...

[aside in a nasal voice, due to the nose graber, surrounded by a nifty assembly of ardvarks]
That is a really casually hip zapping divice

Torreadores are bull fighter, right?

if so we might need a lotta bull...[reallizes something...looks back at previous postings]
Correction we already have had a lotta bull...

Nasaly orders troops

[EMwhim:slash the ardvarks...]

[SuperMoo also begins slashing at the Ardvarks]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/classic/F1658541?thread=378621&post=4835433#p4835433>

*zaps away the forces attacking the aardvarks (ina casually hip way, of course)*

*in the mean while, the bull-fighters and the demonstrators got into a heated argument and left the battlefield to talk it over at a nice tapas bar*

Well, they weren't very useful, now were they?

*zaps away the remaining roses and "cows are human too" signs, a bit angrily but still in a way that seems casually hip*

small question...
who is fighting for who?

I have no idea as i am new and have no idea what im meant to be doing

Basically, we (MotMV) are fighting Supermoo, but it's a cunfused sort of battle, so just help yourself to an aardvark and blast away!

*watches in amusement as the evilminions go splat on the ground in front of him*

*throws a "World's most Interesting Bomb" at whatever enemies may be in front of him, and laughs as the get themselves blown up on it*

*prepares his EVIL-ARMY-INVADER-KILLER-GUN-WEAPON*
[Energy-Vortex In Laser Assault Rifle May Yet Instigate New Valuable Aftershocks (Dying, Etc., or Rapid Kamikazes) Later, Leaving Everything Rolling on the Ground, UNited in Wasting Each other, And Probably Offended Numerably]

[Or something like that]