h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Along the outer perimeter of the HQ to the Masters of the Multi-verse, a scout with some really good binoculars would see a black van parked next to an ex-Soviet SCUD Launcher, which looks like it's preparing to fire. In front is a man in black uniform with a bullhorn.*

[Lieutenant Narg] End your recruiting and disband your operation or we will be forced to fire! NOBODY defies the will of STUMPED! End your recruiti--

*The bray ends temporarily as the Lieutenant looks as if he's forcibly removing a character from atop the missile*

*approaches the man in black, wearing a trenchcoat that may or may not be hiding some unknown yet very lethal, or at least very painful, sort of weapon*

I kindly ask you to leave the area, sir. Your presence is not welcome here.

nope.

and we attacked that CHOPPERS group, what'd we do to you?

[Narg] Yes, well, Mr-nobody-ever-thought-of-hiding-weaponry-under-a-trenchcoat-before, the feeling's mutual. If you'll please look over here to the dozen heavily-armed men behind the van, and up there to the android on top the SCUD launcher and down here to my P90, you'll know we came prepared for business.

*Narg turns to the driver of the SCUD launcher*

[Narg] Collins! Aim the SCUD!

*The SCUD missile rises in an arc from its pad on the truck. Kalia scrambles from on top of the missile to the top of the truck cab. Narg turns back*

[Narg] Now, as much as I would like simply to fill you full of holes, we at STUMPED take a finer, more diplomatic touch to villainy, so I'll give you one last chance. Either you petition to join our fine organization, or we reduce you and your headquarters to a scorch mark and a bad memory.

[Narg]

*Splat*

Bwahahahaha!

You up for any more bad memories, you half-witted hooligan?!

What's STUMPED?

nuclear!

we need to round up the troops and prepare to defend the base!

*salutes*

right!

we're officially code red, wer'e under atttack!

*Pushes a little button, which causes the ground to suddenly open under the STUMPED army (whoever they may be), throwing them into the unknown depths. The long curving tunnel they fall through seems to go on and on forever (what? did somebody say "Lewis Carroll"?), but eventually they, and the twisted metal shards that used to be their weapons, are cast into a Hawaiian beach-bar, which is so nice that they wouldn't _want_ to go back.*

There, I hope that ends this little problem.

i have a feeling they'll be back

a;right, we're moving to code amber

stay on alert

*salutes*

good quick thinking there yael

Thank you. I guess they won't be back very soon, since this fellow doesn't seem to be online ta the moment...

War is it?

War? No, not at the moment, it seems.

Let's hope that ridiculous army stays in Hawaii, and never comes back! Then we can sit around here and... um... er... *pushes the little button frantically, but to no avail* Oh, damn... they don't make these things like they used to!

But a war would do us good. Exersise and all that.

*looks down hole*

prehaps we should fetch the unfortunates a ladder?.............

Na, scr*w them. Lets just build the defences over them.

or we could build a garderobe over the whole

Great idea! We've needed a toilet for ages!

that would just be CRUEL


lets do it!

That's the spirit!

Now I'll probably be gone for the next few days. Keep the fight up!

yay! no GB!

we can regain control!