h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Look Mr Satan sir. I don't care WHO you think you are, lord of the Underworld, Lord of the Underwear or lord of Down Under - it makes no difference. But I do ALL the killing of sheep in this here forum, and you'd better accept it!

Oh yes? (pulls out fly swatter covered in satanic symbols)

Yes!
*Pulls out even bigger flyswat covered in Beatles symbols*

Er... can I point out that while flyswatters are quite convenient when attacking bluebottles, those of us with a more evil spiritual substance may need something a bit more... substantual.

(Bluebottle tries to swat Satan. Bluebottle's flyswat melts)

See?

Here would you like a Brownie?

* holds Satan while Marv shoves holy brownie into Satans pointy toothed mouth*

Damn...you stink!

*releases lord of the underpants*

I'd like to point out that a bluebottle is also a very annoying type of jellyfish - so ha!

Aaargh! Holy Brownies!!

(melts in a horrible mess of sulphur)

I'll be back!!

Nothing like having a member of the clergy around eh?

(bubbles)

*Dr. D, who has been absent for the past few days, sneaks up behind the evil one and shoves a TRUE brownie in his mouth and duct tapes it shut.*

That should fix you! Duct tape can withstand anything!

Dr. D

HA HA HA!!! Duct tape! The Phreds best friend! after Brownies, of course.

*cracks open a brew*

I thought an elephant was a Phred's best friend?

Whereas FIRE is a Phred's father

(Satan is cast down to Hell, due to the effects of the Holy Brownie. Being Satan, he gets very annoyed, and climbs back up again.)

(A steaming hole appears in the floor. A hot red glow lights up the room. Satan climbs out. The hole closes.)

I'm back. Bwahahahaaaa!!!!! You are all doomed! DOOMED I say!!! Bwahahaaaaa!!!

I don't know. What a day. Being attacked by Guardian Angels, two GODs, and all kinds of clergy from the Church of the True Brownie. (shudder) At what age can a devil reasonably retire?

Well Sir, if you are tired of a life of evil you can retire to the overworld and become a member of the CotTB.

Can I be the resident devil?

If you so choose.
I would ask that you limit your evil activities when it comes to your fellow Phreds however. I welcome you into the fold my son!
-Archbishop Marv

I do hope that you enjoy your stay with us, Satan. We could really use someone to keep the hot fudge warm.

It also seems to help the elephants stay warm in these northern climes... Wait a minute! Elephants!?!?!?! Ah well, this one is fairly comfortable and seems well decorated at least. I think we may need a ficus though...

G7

Elephants? Hmm... this is one very weird church.

I'm not too sure that i can get used to the smell of brimstone.

I was wrong...duct tape is the mechanics best friend.