h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"I am so proud....(sniff)"

- Is sniffing the best thing to be doing?

Probably not, but if we all took big sniffs it would soon be gone

not many dogs called Pongo now-a-days is there

http://www.blood-pressure-monitoring.org/blog/blowing-off-farts-lower-blood-pressure/
could save millions of ££££'s/$$$$'s in blood pressure tablets

I am sure that this particular angle has been discussed somewhere before, so forgive me if you seem to get Deja Vu.

So - farting helps lower blood pressure. Its official, we have seen it on the net and of course we all know that everything on the net is the troof dont we. So, lets extrapolate. To cure high blood pressure, there would need to be quite a raising of the level of farting. Cows (Who parp all day long) are being blamed for a lot of global warming because of the noxious farts released. Farts rise into the air, so there must be a point in the atmosphere where they all gather - a Fart Zome" if you will, that is eating away at the Ozone layer. If we seriously encourage worldwide farting to control high blood pressure, then the Ozone wont stand a chance. The only answer is to put the Cows on the blood pressure pills, and allow us humans to break free and fart at will. We will never match the output of cows, AND we will be saving the planet to boot.

Job Done. Nuff said.

There was a thread, many moons ago, about "why doesn't the whole world smell of fart?" that also propagated the idea of a "fart layer".

Now, where's that "Where's that thread?" thread?

RF

Reading the article, it seems tome it's not the farting that help, it's the *smell*.

So to lower your blood pressure - sniff a fart!

If you can light your own farts... can you ignite the fart-zone?

Indeed you can. Just remember that when lighting "Earthbound" or "Newly Born" farts, it is wise to wear at least a pair of pants to prevent starting a bush fire. What precautions you would take for an atmospheric conflagoration, is entirely your choice..........

if you don't fart much, why is it called MEthane? it should be yourthane, co's someone else is doing it

It's usually TheMissusThane...

But don't tell her I said that!

I watched a Horizon programme this week that was alledgedly about Black Holes at the centre of every galaxy. It turns out though to be far scarier then Einstein thought - they have proof that there is NOT a Black Hole at the centre, but a humungus super massive Black Fart instead. This also throws out of kilter all the theories around travelling faster than the speed of light, because now the new speed barrier is (in theory)the speed of Fart instead.
Whether Mankind will ever exceed the speed of Fary remains to be seen...........but Star Trek producers are re-dubbing the entire series to refer to "Fart Factor 9" etc to be more scientifically correct.

to travel the galaxies, finding new farts, to boldly go where no fart has gone before

Set Farts to stun.....

I'm not sure I can turn mine down that far..."lethal" seems to be the only setting!

RF

how about a new club ? F.A.R.T.S.

F-fluctuating
A-articulated
R-responses
T-to
S-stimulants

...or maybe

F-Fixated
A-Anally
R-Regarding
T-Transient
S-Smells
??????

and more alternatives to follow I'll bet