h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thank you M'am. The experiment is due to end this Friday night, when said missus vacates the home to converse with friends over Pizza and wine. I intend to force a "Climactic" finale by eating a whole large pack of dried apricots for lunch tomorrow. I calculate that the enemy should then be advancing around 19:00 hours, with a concerted and deadly airbourne assault about 30 mintes later. To drown out the kerfuffle, I intend to watch a DVD (Naturally, Gone With The Wind) with the subwoofer turned right up so as not to alarm neighbours and passing women and children. I will document the experience, and publish a scientific paper on the results on Monday.

A dictaphone or similar could be your friend. A proper recording setup would be better though

Perhaps you should webcam your evening

Webcam? Hhmmm.....I did briefly consider such a wheeze, but decided against it when my legal team advised me that the footage might be confiscated under the "Video Nasties" law (1984, 3rd paragraph, first clause)

I also do not wish to damage sensitive equipment during the final barrage, which will be quite unholy I believe..........

I am pleased to announce that rumours of my premature asphyxiation during the test last week are greatly exagerated.
Dried Apricots do indeed make excellent propellent for later expulsion. In my case, about 5hrs 10 minutes was the internal manufacturing phase, followed by a good two hours of regular emissions. To those who may follow in the scientific experiments described, I would strongly urge you not to attempt to ignite the fumes, even to entertain fellow student flatulists.......

*giggles*

Good day Mistress Lil - long time, no play!

So, as we find ourselves in the august and salubrious confines of the good thread "Botty Burps", have you ever been minded to "Light one up"?

*husky voiced and purring*

Hello Doctor/Captain darling

No, I can honestly say that I have never been tempted

Ahh, my girl, you have no idea of the positive medical benefits of "Lighting Up"! Not only medical, but you can help contain Climate Change by not allowing the methane to seep ever upwards, warming the planet and melting the ice caps.

Add to that, children do find it immensely amusing !!


Lets hear it for this threads Patron Saint - Mr Methane himself
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Methane

Mistress lil...

Sorry, you do NOT want to know what images that conjures up!

Ohhhhhhh yes we do!

Sorry - is it Panto season already?

Oh no we...

Hang on. I'm not falling for that one...

Darn.............OOOhhhhhhhhhhhhh yes you will!

*giggles*

*Nurse NJA wriggles, jiggles and swivels as she slides_____________ towards Hoggy!*


Ooops!....

*Picks up loose eye*

Ohhh...

Hang on...

Old panto fall-back:

SHES BEHIND YOU!!!

WAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

Here Hoggy, Hoggy, Hoggy

If you see him come back children, just let me know!

We will!