h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When I feel a particularly windy series of burps approaching, I try to burp the vowels. does anyone else do this?

RF

I tend to have short, sweet, powerful and loud ones with little time to plan for them.

They are usually REALLY relieving though!

*I tend to have short, sweet, powerful and loud ones with little time to plan for them*

Sweet? I am assuming we are still talking about burping here

I told you I like burping

I dont like the ones with flavour/scent, but a good, clean stoach settling barney-style belch is wonderful

True story - I once burped while laughing (as a kid) the act of which became known (in our family at least) as a LURP - cross between laugh and burp

Me and The Missus had a guest staying with us this past weekend. I find it quite a compliment when a visitor feels relaxed enough in your home to be able to both fart and belch without embarrassment. Can I point out that the contest was *not* my idea!

Just come back from a holiday where I encountered a Curry called "Kari Ayam". This tatsed delicious..........but........24 hours after consumption, the resulting "activity" should have been put under the heading of Weapons Grade. It lasted some five hours...

So the day before leaving, I did it again, much to the consternation of fellow passengers on the plane home! Does that make me evil?

Does that make me evil? NOPE!
pure genius

Sir, you are a true scholar and gentleman. May I suggest you seek out this divine curry yourself so that the next time somebody comes to your home who is not welcome, they will be met with the full and awful majesty of this repast.

unfortunately I can't stand curries and or other type spicy dishes, plus no variations of fodder gives me the powerof the rear

LOTS of veg and pulses should have a similar effect. So, onion soup and a beany main with lots of other veg. Should get anyone parping though you may need to follow this diet for a day or two...

I was on the train a few weeks ago, and accompanied a sneeze with a little flatule. I had headphones on at the time, so I didn't know if it made a noise.

Looking at the person sitting opposite me, kinda confirmed that it did..

for Capt' Black (or friends)
http://www.sillyjokes.co.uk/games/arserace.html

Ohh, deep joy!

practice makes perfect and it's always fun

the old sayingif you all breathe in more and it'll go a lot faster

Has this thread discussed the "Dutch Oven" so far?

From Wiki:

Dutch oven is a fart chamber created by pulling a blanket over someone's head and farting. Performing a Dutch oven creates an area of smelly gaseous air in an enclosed space that must be breathed in. This is done as a prank or by accident to ones sleeping partner.

The book The Alphabet of Manliness discusses the Dutch oven, and what it calls the "Dutch oven surprise", that "happens if you force it too hard"

So if your partner has a sense of humour, you know know how to impress them......

I believe it was wrote by Alf Hart

Capt'
message from err noise abatement department

http://www.fart-sounds.net/fart_sound_board.htm

I have been conducting a scientific experiment all week, mostly to confirm/disprove the theory of my missus that it is the dried apricots I have started putting on my Muesli that have stirred rumblings below about 5 hours after.

I am most to confirm that indeed, dried apricots seem to have a reaction in my gut that produces vast previously undiscovered reserves of gas. Said reserves start to surface about 12:30, and then go into full production between about 13:00 - 14:30.

Out of a deep humanitarian love and pity for my colleagues at work, I have cleared my calendar of meetings today and tomorrow during that time to observe and record more closely this previously unknown phenomena