h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*turns back into Kat and hides behind the door crouched on the window sill*

*3 ducks jump off their bar stools leaving their pear juice behind they point shotguns at the small cat*

[Duck1]: Quack

[Duck2]: quack quack

[Duck3]: You are barred from here, now get out

*hisses at the ducks, glances out the window and slinks out of the door, downing a vodka lemon on the way*

hello!!

Hello yourself

*barmaid wipes down the desk*

Barmaid: whats yer poison?

*walks in whistling, trying to look very normal and innocent*

Well hullo there missy...could I trouble you for a glass of rum and coke?

Cyanide with alkaline sprinkles, please

*Barmaid looks at Kat suspiciously*

*she hands over the drink* Barmaid: here you go miss

*hands over the drink to Black Leopard*

*drinks*

eeueuugghhh!!

*collapses*

*neatly shoves BL under the nearest bench*

Thank you miss. Fine weather we've been having, although a slight spate of young ruffians have been coming over from the west with a smattering of misplaced enthusiasm and there have been showers of insults throughout the day...

*gestures to blue board that has magically appeared*

And throughout the rest of the night we can expect to see extreme politeness coming over the Welsh hills towards the Birmingham region, slight sarcasm and adventure moving north into Lancashire, unfortunate motherly gatherings in the north of the UK, and severe hailstorms, gales, tornadoes and floods in East Anglia...

*sorry to anyone living there...I'm just miffed with a friend*

*comes out from under bench*

Can I have some more of that stuff please "hic"

*collapses*

*again*

*the barmaid coughs at the weather report and then turns to Blackleopard, handing over another of the same drink*

Is Farlock allowed in here? Does he have to drink soft drinks?

*from under table*

let him in, it'll be good for him...do u keep track of the ages of everyone who enters here?

Might do might do...or those who mention their ages

oh good, i'm saf- oh blast!! Discovered!

*puts on deep acsent*

I am allowed in here you know....well...erm..

*takes a swig*

*falls to the floor*

*again*

I'll take care of him.

*Drags Black Leopard out of the room.*

*GBs pants fall down while walking through the door.*