h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*dusk walks over to the duck sat in anthia's chir*
could i have all the appropret paperwork for this cind of thing, pleas?

*the desk drawer opens to reval blank parchment, some ink, a quill, some wax.... etc*

~Skenvoy

thanks could you make a note of what details are needed coz this isnt quite the usurel contract

*the quill hovers over the parchment waiting to be given instructions*

*Helen walks into the office with a complete disregard for all present bar Anthea. She appears as she always does, a six year old blond girl carrying a lunchbox. She offers Anthea a note if Anthea recives it she passes her a note otherwise she waits for Anthea to notice her and then passes the note. She will remain while Anthea reads the note and will answer any questions, just post on this thread*

[Note. Some things are crossed out, these are between <> marks. They are perfectly readable, they just have a perfectly horizontal line through them. The note appears to be typed, but the font is not recognised as any standard.]

Dear Anthea

I apologise for our absence. I was trying to learn more about your customs and have discovered many things. I belive that the inverted quotation marks around the word "guest" on the noticeboard means that I am not considered a guest. I have also learned that where there is an official system you would prefer it to be followed rather than have me use my more efficient procedures. Should I desire a change in procedure who should I address?

Still I said that I would fill in the appropriate forms so I would like my application to be considered.

Name:
Helen

U number:
I do not understand the question

Weapons:
I have access to a number of conventional weapons ranging from small arms to military vehicals, ships and aircraft. I also have access to a number of non-conventional weapons including chemical and nuclear capability, though replacing these weapons will be difficult so I would rather not deploy them for the sake of the guild unless no other option is feasable. I also have significant R&D support and may have access to new weapons shortly.

Magic powers:
I have no magical powers to speak of.

Other skills:
Beyond the skills anyone is born with I am an expert infiltrator. I am skilled in using all of the weapons that I can access. I also have significiant technical, medical and geographical information and skills at my disposal

Gender:
I do not understand the question.

Living in or out of HQ:
In

Thing or Thursday:
I do not understand the question

*leans over to helen*
anthia has been kidnaped by some goons, shes not here.
thats the head duck sat in her chir

*double take*
*Leaves note on the desk*
[Helen] We...I leave you alone for a few weeks and you get her kidnapped! What evidence do you have?

the fact we'r all out getting her back from their base, just a gues that thats evidence

[Helen] You know where the goons base is? Then why didn't you say so. Tell us...me and I'll all go and sort it out.

~Skenvoy

*Helen waits patiently*

*BaruBary drifts off to the forest, quietly as if he never exsisted*

Khamsin's going to die?

*Perks right up.*

<*coughs loudly*>

<not sure why but i think your lives might be in danger>