h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

For an omnipresent entity he does a good vanishing act when he wants to.

"I am even more confused" complained Janet. She went to the bar and helped herself to a few stiffdrinks. "That's better" she smiled.

You'll have to pay for them,said the pub,only God and Gill get credit here.

"I'm sure Gill can afford it" said Janet.

Come to think of it said the pub has anyone ever seen Gill and God together?

"Depends which God you mean" said God.

"Good point" said the pub,thinking it was probably best not to go down the "Is Gill God" path.

The pub decided it needed a drink.

"The drinks are on me" he shouted.

"So they are" said Raymond, looking at the stacked shelves.

The pub sighed,and if it had possesed a head,it would have shaken it ruefully.

X2 was too busy playing giant jenga with Oddy to care much about the fate of the pub, but shoock his head for it, because he felt it necessary.

Gill stood up and called the assembled mass to order,this was going to be important.

he opened his mouth to say the most important thing he was going to say all day, but when he opened his mouth, all that came out was a girlish scream, Oddy was back on his leg

Janet tried to get Oddy to let go of Gill's leg by promising him another Harvey wallbanger,but he was not to be so easily persuaded.

"Oddy" called X2, "it's your turn, now come here and get on with the game."

Oddy reluctantly released Gill's well chewed limb, and returned to his game of giant jenga.

"And what do you keep biting my leg for anyway?" Asked Gill. "I'll I've ever done was take over the softwear market."

You'll need connections in the legwear market if you keep on, thought Oddy eying Gill's bits.

'I have decided to build the biggest computer software factory in the world'said Gill'and i have decided to build it just here.'