h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Please" said Slapton happily

And took a big juicy packet of 'old mother sows finest pork and roadkill scratchings' from the pub.

"So what's the answer then" asked Gill

And i get half your empire?' asked Slapton.

"Half of which one?" asked Gill, confused.

Half of everything you own, or rule over' explained Slapton

"I think I'll need to consult my lawyer on this" Gill decided.

A simple yes or no Gill,what's it to be?' asked a by now very smug looking Slapton Leys

"It's a hard one" sulked Gill. "If I give half my empire, I may loose more than I gain."

Slapton pulled a large brown envelope from his pocket and showed it to Gill.

"I can't stand the taste of envolopes, would you mind sealing it for me, I did promise my mother I'd write home"

Gill stuck his tongue out.'I only asked, there's no need to be rude' said Slapton putting the envelope back in his pocket.

Gill was now even more confused than he was before, and couldn't think of a suitable reply.

Thats when it happened.

Oddy, Raymond and X2 got critically bored after not doing anything for at least a couple of minutes

yipee-doo-dye!!! im a cowboy, screamed raymond, everybody looked at him strangly, he sat down, and they continued

"Perhaps you could tell me the answer," said Gill, "and then I can decide whether it's worth half my assets."

'That sounds fair', said Slapton, 'you look like an honest man'.

"And you look slightly dillusional" said Gill with a friendly smile.

Slapton Leys fell to the ground stone dead, pierced through the heart by an arrow with a note attached.