h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

this was followed by another silence, then a cough in the background, then a bumble weeb blew past, then a wolf howled in the back ground, then a door slammed, then Gill got annoyed

That was too many movie cliche's in so short a space of time.

"anyways..." continued Gill

'this is what i want to know......'

why is there an alian here?

Janet sighed and prepared to tell the story all over again,when suddenly, and to the suprise of all the company,Slapton Leys jumped to his feet.

"listen to me" he boasted in a huge voice

I have the answer to all your problems,and will reveal all,for a price.

"How much?" asked Gill

Half of your empire Gill' said Slapton, 'and a bag of pork scratchings'

'I don't think I have any pork scratchings' sighed Gil

'I have' shouted the pub, who had been following the friends around at a safe distance.

"Well, they're burried amongst the rubble somewhere anyway," it added.

I'd rather eat the rubble thought Janet, who had an uncle who worked in a scratching factory.

When her uncle had asked Janet to take over the family business, she decided it was time to leave the country.

Her family were furious, especially so ,after she had shown such promise in the 'eyelid and ear' department.

Janet suddenly felt somewhat nausious

and put this down to a sudden flashback to the 'nether regions reclamation department' where she had spent a very queasy morning all those years ago.

"Excuse me" she said before rushing off to find the loo

'Anyone for scratchings then?' asked a blissfully un-aware pub.