h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Right then." said Gill. "Next on the agenda is the so called millenium bug. Comments anyone?"

"What's it's top speed?"asked Raymond, deliberately trying to bait Gill.

"And has it got any of those fancy drinks holders,for putting the old split pea and crouton in?"

Bates stared are Raymond, confused.

"How can you put a crouton in a drinks holder?" He asked.

"Well, you can't" replied Raymond, "They'd just fall straight through."

"So why do you want a drinks holder then?"

"to put my cup of soup in of course so that the crouton could sit in that"

"Exactly" stated Raymond, sounding more sure than he was. Luckily, this seemed to clear things up for Bates, and after a quick stare into middle distance he decided to move things along.

"so then, the Millenium Bug" hinted Bates, trying to get the topuc back on track.

"In a nutshell,how do we cope" he continued

"Mr Bates" said Janet, "I represent a large bug control company which has found a solution to the bug."

"Yeeeessss" said Bates, raising his Eyebrow Roger Moore style, "do go on"

"We have developed another, harmless bug that eats up the millenium bug, leaving systems bug free. It's cheap, quick, and easy to install."

I will make you a queen if this works said Gill

Oddy was panicing. If the millenium bug destroyed the computers, then the universe would be back on the mend. If Janet's bug wiped it out, then computers would be around to see the next millenium.

he suddenly felt an urge in him, a familiar urge, the urge to bite, he looked around and saw Gills legs

He gave in to his urge in grand style, and gave Gill's legs a really fearsome bite.

The trouble with deities is that they don't take to being bitten very well.

And Oddy had bitten him very,very well.