Did I Leave The Iron On?

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Did I Leave The Iron On? by Greebo T Cat

This week, a football round-up, sport on h2g2, and a look ahead to the cricket.

The weekend's big final was the Rugby League Challenge Cup, held between old rivals St Helens and Wigan. Saints dominated from the off, Sean Long played just about the best game of rugby I have ever seen, and the final score was a fairly one-sided 32-16 against Wigan. A conclusive result, but disappointing sport.

The New Invincibles

Arsene Wenger's boys are crowned Premiership champions, having been unbeaten all season. This matches a record which stretches back to Preston North End (the 'old' Invincibles) in the 1889/90 season. Worthy of the New Invincibles moniker indeed!

As this column is named after my beloved Scunthorpe United, I should perhaps share with you some good news. Although the Iron finished 90/92 among professional clubs in this country, they had the 3rd Division's top scorer (Steven MacLean, on loan from Rangers), and two of the 3rd's PFA Team of the Year (Nathan Stanton, who has superceded much more experienced talent at right-back, and Peter Beagrie, the living legend of Glanford Park). High hopes still abound for Scunthorpe next season, after long-term manager Brian Laws has signed a new contract. Somewhat surprisingly, he has not kept talented midfielder, Ian Kilford, on for next season, and fellow playmaker Alex Calvo-Garcia has retired. Central midfielders will be very high on the shopping list over the summer.

Sticking with the 3rd Division, there is uproar in Swansea after the club let Roger Freestone, their 34-year-old keeper, who has played over 700 games for the Swans go on a free. No testimonial, no 'last match for the fans', nothing. I only hope that Roger finds a club who are more appreciative of his talent than the fickle board of my temporary hometown.

Shadowing The Football

As the real life football season draws to a close, so must h2g2's two high-quality imitations. GreyDesk'sFantasy Football drew to a nailbiting close this week with rookie todd_abraham87 clinching it on the final whistle by a small handful of points.

My own Phantasy Phootball was not such a close-run affair, with Number Six pulling clear of the field several weeks ago.

Both the established competition and my new upstart version have been pronounced a success, and GreyDesk and I will no doubt be looking for entries for next season (or possibly a Euro 2004 variant) before too long1.

Coming Up...

The first Test Match between England and New Zealand kicks off (bats off?) today. I have always enjoyed watching New Zealand cricket: they are cheerful, dynamic and attacking, and up against a rejuvenated England should be able to push the game one way or the other. The Kiwis' weakness might be in their opening bats - Fleming, Astle and Cairns are solid and dependable further down the order and don't be surprised if they are pushed up to cover for other batting weaknesses.

Shane Bond currently has the potential to be devastating and I expect him to feature heavily in the Test Series. Fellow bowler Danny Vettori is flamboyant and unpredictable and, unusually for a spinner, always makes for good viewing. It's a bit early for making predictions, but I would expect the Lords pitch to produce a victory one way or the other. Providing the rain holds off, I would go for a narrow New Zealand victory, while England are still finding their feet as a team.

Several A/K/A Random's 'sporting blues'

This AmSports report is being typed while chair-dancing to Sheryl Crow's 'C'mon, c'mon' CD, but I may plug in some big band or blues at any time. The pro basketball playoffs are still, endlessly, going on, as are the pro hockey playoffs. The same characters as named previously are involved. Pro baseball has several stories a day, and All-Star Game balloting is being conducted on-line again, to vote one's favourite player.

The baseball Hall of Fame and Museum is preparing for their summer festivities, too, and they send me an e-newsletter weekly to remind me I haven't visited it since i was a young'un. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum also appears in my e-box, but that's hardly an AmSports report, is it?

Gotta be Smarty Jones this week, the thoroughbred horse who has won both the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness Stakes races, the first two legs of horse racing's Triple Crown, heading into the Belmont Stakes on June 5. Lotsa good stories on the horse and the trainer but I've got a couple of quotes from one of the horse's owners. 78-year-old Roy Chapman, from his wheelchair and oxygen supply, on the success of the horse people told he and his wife to sell:
'I love the press, but we might take up residence in Nome, Alaska the next three weeks, and see you in New York.'

Smarty Jones won $5 million$ and is up for another $5 million$ if he wins the Belmont in New York June 5. Chapman's comment?
'We wouldn't give it back, but the money's not going to change our style, or my family's.'

Only Seattle Slew in 1997 has won a Triple Crown with an unbeaten record, as Smarty has to date, and he could become the winningest horse of all time, after bonuses, and not to mention stud fees after he is 'put to pasture' and I'd better not comment further. This is AmSports, not that other national pastime.

I note that Arsenal has won their season out unbeaten in the English Premier League, and that South Africa has been awarded the honours of hosting soccer's World Cup in 2010, but that's stuff I don't really know about.

One thing I do know about is deer and bears and this is the time of year when both become active around here, in my little corner of the world. DO NOT attempt to feed a bear. They will find their own food, as they wish and the sight of a 200-pounder dumpster-diving, raiding beehives or laying waste to your carefully-prepared pic-a-nic basket is not uncommon. Cute and cuddly as they may seem, they are NOT pets, but they ARE an awesome sight to see. Deer will occasionally appear in your headlights, late at night, and it is best to not risk an insurance damage claim by not slowing down your auto to avoid striking them.

Other outdoorsy notes include yellow, orange and blue hummingbirds returning to the area and sucking up all the syrup I prepare for them, in their feeder, within sight of the belfry in which I type, and in the back yard, where dandelions and some grass continue to grow. Life is a constant thing.

Over the Memorial Day weekend (May 29-31 over here) there will occur another American Tradition: the Indianapolis 500 auto race. I dunno if you've ever seen these vehicles, but they're like a grounded jet airplane. New rules limit the engines of these things from 3.5 liters to 3.0, but the fastest qualifying speed so far is 222.024 miles per hour, and none of the top 23 has been slower than 213.277 MPH. Probably a hundred thousand or more fans will jam the infield of the race track in Indiana, sucking up petrol fumes and adult beverages, amongst other substances.

There's also a stock-car race that weekend, in Charlotte, North Carolina - I had the pleasure of attending once. We got there the night before, pulled two pick-up trucks together and built a platform atop each in the infield, and we all remember pieces and parts of that three days... but we're not quite sure, at last count.

Timing is everything. Cheryl Crow just ended, and so shall I. AmSports, part zoo, part circus, powered by petroleum and television, ya pays your money and this way to the egress. So this is several, a/k/a random, contemplating sunrises and sunsets, belfrys, confusers and ther wiring, and looking forward to when I can have a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster.

Did I Leave The Iron On? Archive

Master B

with Several a.k.a. Random  smiley - vampiresmiley - musicalnote

20.05.04 Front Page

Back Issue Page

1Phantasy Phootball, due to the rules, has to be limited to only 15 players, and I am going to give the current competitors first-refusal out of fairness.

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