h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

To be staring a chimp in the face

**)(**

When talking my morning constitutional

I happened to see my #2 son Al

out walking his girl

I gave her a pearl

which rendered my son institutional

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I only dance when I'm very very drunk.

"cos that's when I feel like a really big hunk!

But there's never one there
And no one wants to share

So that's why I'm becoming a monk.

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The good, the bad and the ugly

Deided, one day, to get "snuggly"

Throwing caution aside,
and with nothing to hide...

they did what they did very druggily


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we're having some bother with verses

Who me?? Nah, it's all on the surface

The concept is fine,
But making it rhyme
Leaves me spluttering gutteral curses.

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The female arse is a wonderous thing

It makes me think of "Bling! Bling!"

( )

Such curves, such grace,
Forget the face,

What pleasure those arses bring!




How goes the holiday preparations?

Well, Iraq's not the calmest of destinations,

the place is a dump
and there's no shapely rump

(deliberately avoiding the gender thing)

And no hotels in which to make reservations.



A tiny fellow from Chartres
Was run down by a very fast cart...

Said he as he fell
"The day's not going well"