h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi. Sorry I'm late, all sorts of things cropping up at the last minute. Nice place you've got here. Is there any non-alcoholic non Kool-Aid beverage lying about?

Noisy fish? Are these any relation to Babel fish?

I'm not sure... I've asked him several times, but each time all I can get out of him is "Bugger off" and the occassional "Feed me Seymoure"; I don't know why he insists on calling me seymoure, but hey! Whatever.

Oh, and yes! I have tea of all assortment! And I "borrowed" some jolt cola from a certain person who had waaaaaaaaaaaaaay to much in his stock. Oh, and I have shnapps! That's not real alcohol

*knock* *knock*
Hello? Oh, nice to have so many people here! Is there any need for some good old German Kirschwasser? You know, I happen to have a little stock of it, so feel free to take. Yes, the fish can have some, too. Your curtain colours fit lovely in here!

Hi!
Nice place. I like the fish. And that looks really interesting.
So this folds down does it?...

*CRRRAASSSHHHH*!

...errrm look I brought beer. Drink it now and put on this blindfold. Quick, no peeking...

*quiet sweeping noises in background*

Could I get some cinnamon orange tea then?

Of course... pray do tell: do you actually want milk, lemon, or sugar with that, or are you a sane, sensible person who likes his tea plain?

Erm... I hope that wasn't my picture of me mum... it is the only one I have!

So when people ask you to turn up the bass, what do you do?

And how warm are we supposed to make your house?

What's that fourlegged shape crawling under your sofa?
Hope it's not a zebra. I'm allergic to zebra's. They give me polkadots allover. A tortoise, now there's a stable pet.
Do you have a turtle? Do you want one for your new home?

Here ya go Spork: a turtle.

Got wine?

Phew... Finally done it! It must the coke that slowed down my building, but it's finally ready.

All I need now is an ashtray, I saw one around earlier, but it's so busy, it seems some one has moved it...

Hey! Who nicked my lighter?

Can I change the music? I got a bag full of punk with me here somewhere...



Seems there's a few lines still left... I'll have another one then...

No more after that Ahdkaw! You don't see me going in your house and starting a bonfire and throwing all your weed onto it, do you? I don't actually appreciate your addiction being in my house! Outside of my house, 'tis your business.... and no punk that is after 1987, as it gets rather horrible after that.

Wine, yes! I've passed that around long ago (quick, hide all of your lighters... he's going to start smoking crack- I don't want my house being called the "crack house" thank-you!), chilled and- my, what IS that under the coffeetable? Hmmm.... curious and curiouser....

Ah! That is my Peeper Man! http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Portal/4760/scs43.jpg

Careful... he's rather... miffish.

Oh, and I'd take the turtle back.... last one I had, someone threw into a pot and made a stew... I'll miss you Moompfh!

Hmmm, I thought it was my weevils under the couch. I'm sure they're around somewhere, enjoying their marzipan gin. They'll steer clear of your cat, as they've had bad experiences with felines in the past. I'm quite certain they're steering _very_ clear of Ahdkaw.

*peers nonchalantly through window curtains*

Does anyone here drive a police car? Your lights are on.

Wait... what's the liscense plate #? Nope, can't be mine then... they must be here for you, Ahdkaw!

It's mine! How else do you think I got out! ;o)

If you see anyone with a tit on their head, send 'em this way, I got something for them....

Er...plain.

Er... hmm? Anyone need a refill?

Hey Sp?rky, can I get in on this?

Haha ... yes, of course... tea, wine, milk, or hard liquor?

Could I have a mix of 'em all, please? With lotsa sugar?

lotsa' sugar? Hmm... I only I have nutrasweet

WHAT?! *sighs* Okay, I'll do the sugar run. Anyone need anything else? *looks at empty space on table where vodka should be, than at TVF*... Frink, gimme your ID. Or no, you just come with me.