h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Who said I was drinking *alcohol*? I was just going to have a sip of this lava lamp...

You're into the whole melted wax thing? Ooh... where is your whip?

* looks up again, staring bewilderedly into the eyes of one thirsty Fenny *

Nooh.. you can't drink... the lamp... it will die. It must LIVE, I tell you! Lihihihive!
...
So, read any bood gooks lately?

*sets down the lamp and gets off the beanbag, crisp and awake*


I gotta do something about the being crisp and all.
Now, Sporky, Sporkman, Sporkster whatwhat. Could you advise me on any good cocktails available on these premises?

Er... someone was blending strawberry daquiris in the kitchen... other than that, no... but I can fix you a drink, if you like

*gives his wine to a passing flirt*

oo good. haven't drank anything for ages.
surprise me.

Ooh... how about a brown and tan? Nothing special, but good nonetheless... No good? All right... how 'bout an old fashioned? Still no! Bugger! How about a Grassho- no... no, that won't do... AH! How about a few apple blossoms?

I even did my homework and checked the Univ. Alc. table, but no, I didn't find it. hit me.

Well, let's start you out with a shot

*excellent eye-hand co-ordination guides index finger & thumb to the small receptacle*

*glunk*

nice!

It is now an olympic event to drink. "And first up Sporky.... He lines up the shot, grasps the vessel and downs it.... The German judge gives him a 5.8 France 5.1 England 5.9 US 6.0 Russia 5.5"

Yes... I can down a shot of water like noone else... can't touch alcohol, though; very, very weak stomach... Another?

hey how is everyone in here i was jsut coming tomake shure nothing was getting to out of hadn so spork *screams as shge gets her foot stepped on *ouch gesh that smarts wel anywho back to what i was saying spork can i get a drink please i would prefure to have a daqurii or two k this is wise adn intellegent tamara not maonsy sorry

*stands up, a bit off balance* I was over here, keeling sick, and you started OLYMPIC DRINKING?! I can't believe you!!

Hmm... a couple of shirley temples, coming your way Maybe I'll have a few myself

And really, Fenny, it wasn't me, wot?

*scratches head* huh?

Anyhow, where's my lava lamp? I've been waiting for what, three days now??

ermmmmm....perhaps i need a drink...seems that i have been stolen up there!! either that or my spelling got real real bad
monsy

Hmm... true... don't worry, I sent her over some duds...
So, do you really wanna get baked? I've put together my own recipe for a Pangalactic Gargleblaster.

now that sounds great!!!....pass me one of those and let's see how well you did
monsy

Here you go... and that stuff that tastes remarkably like lemon, well, its not lemon... Trust me, you don't want to know what it is, but its not lemon

*nibbles on plastic shell of lava lamp quietly, gives up. Walks over to empty fishbowl, sits down, sobs quietly to self*