h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Right,

After much thought, how about … an analyst? Think of the job satisfaction you could get helping people to relax as they lay on your couch!

Or a masseuse?

Or a …. Dog walker…?


Well it's a thought...

You analyse and massage dogs while on the couch then take them for a walk???? OR a pet psychologist who believes in role play? OR someone who analyses (sp?) couches, goes for a massage and the dog takes you walkies?? Oh dear...

You're a vet, run a doggy parlour, into hypnotism?

That's it!!!

PJ could become an animal psychologist...!

Think, it's perfect... you can even practice on Shorty...

And some of those goldfish...



ZZZ time for Thoth now, be goodish...

X

BUT T-H-O-T-H! You STILL haven't told me!

Ohhhh, I'll get it out of ye, somehow!

Shorty would just tell me to 'get a life'.
And talking of goldfish -

Don't drink water because fish **** in it.
(Or so I'm told).

My brother had a sticker stating this that he got on holidays somewhere and stuck it on the mirror in the bathroom at home. My Mother went mental and had ME scrape it off witha spatula and I think it was Fairy Liquid. There ye are.

Anyway have an XXX time while ZZZ, CUL8R!

Be better,

Jen
x

Morning,

Fancy meeting you here...

How's it going?

Thoth,
X

Hi sweetie,

I'm going CRAZY in here! My server keeps crashing and I'm losing all the aythoe stuff I'm trying to post up - three times so far, but think i have it all inserted in. It was only a matter of 'copy & paste' and a few UTL codes, but fidigety all the same. Just have about twenty e-mails to send, and my ete eyes are closing over...

Think I'll go take a shower, have a coffee and come back to it.

OK, RANT over... Jen back.

(ANYWAY, you DID ask!)

How are ye, dear Sir? Homework all done??

And that little 'qwerty' word 'aythoe' should read 'author'!

Good morning,

You're up late...

How's you this am?

Thoth,
X

You still here on your lonesome???!

Don't know night from day and what night or day you may be referring to so I'll say I was up early then, although it is late now and I have to get up early later today, that is if I retire soon and catch some slumber a little later on...

And I'm fine, thanks for asking. Hope you are too.

BTW, really did love that piece of yours and the pressed photos. Hope you romanticised the end and didn't kill him/her off. I'd never forgive you. Either would Nicole Kidman, and I'm not kidding, man..

Catch ye later, Sir

Jen
x

Good Morn,

How's PJ?

Jenneth has asked me to ask you to her engagement party...

Comedy writing is coming on slow…

How are your projects coming on?

Thoth
X

Oh Wow!!!!
Our darling (once-jilted) Jenneth is to marry the marvellously, lushous Luke!!! Told ye!! You better write it up! I need a good pleaser...

Oh please, PLEASE can I wear a 'Hat'???

That has made my night as I'm having a vet arkwardy time trying to insert all this author stuff into the iCan website and means a lot of techno paddywhackery stuff that I have no real idea, or patience, for BUT will peservere! Have 6 done another 25 to go...

I also have a few job applicaton forms to fill in - willelaborate in an email PLUS I'm hoping to go away for a 'Reader's W'ebd' in Dublin entitled - wait for it:

"A Book Affair To Remember" and will have about 20 of Ireland's best selling female authors - the guest of honour is to be Marion Keyes. BUT there is a slight problem - my name seems to have NOT been put on the list... ...

Well, I'm working on it and will pull a few wee favours...

So Mr Comic, me a busy bandit and I am now going to hop over to the 'I can't do it' iCan, and try and get this finished.

Will chat later and try and send a we 'e' if do not finish up too late, or will do so tomorrow night. Still have that other 'hiccup' to send you!

Now, BACK TO WORK!

Jen .....................................

Good evening,

What kind of hat would PJ wear?

Something posh?

Hope all is well in PJ land...



Thoth,
X

The hat wouldbe topless and not posh but beckoning! Well, you DID ask!

PJ land is 'Nevergonnagetitdownontime' Land; BUT I'm still here and dossing away, for just a teeny-weeny moment and then Back To Work.

Will send thee a wee 'e' before morn, well daylight that is...

Oh, I finally got a coveted ticket and setting off to Dublin for the 4-5 hr horrible bus journey in the afternoon. Aggghhhh! Hope I will sleep with face stuck to the dirty streaked winda! God help us!

Catch ye Monday perhaps. Have a great w'end and hope ye enjoy thee Sunday Roast around at Ma's!

Take care, Sir

Jen

Evng,

PJ had a Good Weekend?

Did you get upto no good? Or were you well behaved?

As you know, no lesson or homework this week, so we're taking things easy over 1/2 term.

Thoth,
X

Always on my best behaviour when released from the apron-strings, as ye should well know. Only had a little drop of beer and hardly smoked - it being too wexpensive to go out and smoking is banned. Tut!

Was a great w'end meeting all the personalities there. Reckon I need to get a new 'hair-do' if I ever want to 'fit-in' though, plus comfortable shoes. Don't ask.

Ms. Keyes was wonderful though; a real down-to-earth and funny person and really sweet. Hope she'll decide to support us too. Gave 'letters of appeal' to about 16 of them, so here's hoping.

Got the jigsaw puzzle - - but fait incompli - was looking at 'Shorty' while doing it and it didn't match up somehow...

So, will you be taking any walks in the 'Park' now that you have a wee bit of free time, eh?

Beware any flying objects and purple-skirted weemen now!

Good Eve...

What's you up to these days?

Liked you bus ride tale. Was it something I'd seen before?

Not much news from 1/2 term world...

Comedy story coming on slow, can't seem to get motivated these days...


Thoth,
X

PS, The purple skirt looked great...

Did it?
Just a one off from the local charity shop, dear Sir!

As for these days... God, these days - too much to do and so little time. Looking forward to the w'end to chill out and a few amber glowers, a decent lie-in and a bit of fresh air.

And yes, you took that same bus ride last year. Haven't been able to write anything new bar the wee 100 worders and the odd overdue bill. Let's blame it on the weather, eh?

Even wee 'Shorty' is lacking in spirit. Hasn't growled at the little old blue rinse dears from across the road this week, and THAT is worrying...

He won't talk to me about it. What should I do, Thoth?

Dog-tired Jen

Sounds a difficult case.

Sit him down on the couch and show him a picture of cat. If there's no reaction he could be suffering from DDS.

Dippy Dog Syndrome.

There is a cure, but it will need a lot of work on the part of dog… and owner I'm afraid. Lots of early morning runs, (drags if need be). Drink plenty of water and cut down on the sausages. And the dog too.

Most important though is to find the cause. What do we know of his early years and parentage? Did he have a happy childhood, or was there some trauma that could be resurfacing? Could it be that some event in his past had induced this lack of self esteem? Or is he just pining for the cute poodle from around the corner that moved away last week?

Have a long chat with him and see what you can dig up.

Let me know how you get on with the treatment…

Thoth,
X

Oh, thank-you old terrier.

Thing is, he is an orphan but believe his grandfather is from a few streets away. They've never met, more's the pity plus he's scared of cats, is of the 'gay' persuasion and been with us before he had teeth and any claws.

He has a lover - 'Sam' the Jack Russell - who lives a mere 20 miles away, across the border - could be that AND he didn't get a Valentine card this year. (To be REALLY honest, he did get TWO last year, I'm not kidding ye! ).

He prefers milk, doesn't like the rain and likes running free and piddling at every lamp-post. Think I owe him a wee trip to the Derry Walls in full frontal view of the Army and CCTV cameras where he can leave his mark and I haven't ever got a plastic Tesco bag in site to rescue the souvenirs.

Maybe tomorrow night after Mass and Corrie, we'll take a dander. Late night shopping too, so there'll be many little ears out with their wheelie trollies.

He has now moved from the rug on floor to my fleece on chair. Looks content. Will that do for the time being and treatment to begin tomorrow?

Worried Dog Owner.

Okay,

But go easy on the chocs and only dress him in dark shades...

Bright colours won't match his mood.