h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

you could have sold your soul to me, but i left te buisess ages ago. MY friends were anoyed that i was stealing their souls.

Well I was asking because I seem to sell it on an annual basis.

With the global economy in such a shambles, who has the money to pay for souls? I hear that the going price is very high.

Aren't souls rather luxyry things? I heard that even in times of crisis such stuff sells well. At least rich Russians and Arabs should have the money, shouldn't they?

Anybody who's rich has plenty of money.

For sale: Poverty, email for price.

The only people that might want to buy poverty would be bored billionaires who want to try something different.

But if you sell your poverty its no longer poverty!

It's not poverty for you, but it's poverty for the billionaire who has lost his wealthiness.

Yes for the man who has everything, its povertey!

If the poor drink orange pekoe, is it povertea?

the price is becoming embraced and being my Childe. Remember, Vampires do NOT sparkle. You know a generation has gone wrong when their Vampires sparkle.


(oooooooooooh, masquerade breach)

They do if you pump enough current through them, allow me to demonstrate...

*walks up to a caged vampire, hooks it to a giant inductor, charges it, and discarges it through the vampire, exploding the vampire*

Oh you said sparkle. No, they don't do that.

They do if you tar them and then roll them in broken glass. If your vampires sparkle already, you should roll them in broken glass anyway.

I regard vampires as totally fictitious anyway.
But rhen, I was never in any real danger from them, because everyone knows that they only go after Catholics and people who never eat garlic. But wait, many Catholics live in countries where garlic is a major part of the diet, so something is wrong with this theory. Never mind, then!

Then simply remove the & with an | .

I think a public relations firm should be hired to rehabilitate the image of vampires, bringing out the kinder and gentler side of their nature.

I once thought about writing a short story to that effect. But then I didn't.

Then I might have to write it myself.

You should. And then post it here-ish.