h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Actually, it was W.C. Fields who was supposed to hate dogs and kids...It wasn't meant seriously in any event.

Thats right, ridcully. Anyone here like Susan Sto Helit at all? She's a bit annoying really for my tastes.

She's funny.

I like her because when she's around that means Death is going to show up and he's my favorite character.

True, but she herself is annoying. Death of Rats is cute

Susan is great.

I like Quoth, with his eyeball fixation and his refusal to say the 'N' word, but year death of rats is cute.

People are always complaining about having a near-death experience but they don't know misfortune until they're forced into a near-Vimes experience.

What could be a worse misfortune than being in a virtual room where everyone is discussing literary characters you've never heard of?

Gasp! A heretic in our midst! Prepare the knifey slicey pointy things!

We could always tell Vimes that he was a conspirator to bring forth the Dragon, but which escaped its wrath, or we could just push him into the sands of time. But that would annoy the monks.

I vote we give him over to Carcer and the 'Irregulars'

Of course, Ridcully is always an interesting character in the story.

how about we PARTY I don't know why but let's PARTY anyways

a good idea, Paul

*hides in a cave (unlike the tree this can't be burnt or cut)*

This tree is made of diamond, so burning and cutting are out of the question.

Ah, good, very good. Did you take a cushion for sitting on? Oh, and want a thermos with tea?

it can still be shatered with a hammer

*Hands over a chisel*

Yu'll need one of these too...

It can't, Josh. That doesn't work.