h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

2Legs is probably innocent, but he's used to being blamed, so I'll go along with you.

This room is about tea and the drinking of it. Also, inane conversation and shenanigans.

There isn't a biscuit smily is there?

Not as such. The closest smilies are , , , and

however if you want to try and make a biscuit smiliey i won't stop you from emailing the artists the results,
I could always do with something to cheer me up in the morning

is even closer to biscuit. Trouble is, biscuits look rather ordinary. That may be why they haven't had smileys yet.

well it could also be because we keep eating all the examples

Don't forget that the biscuit should be a Hobnob, as someone once put it,
"the marines of buscuits".(Peter Kay)

It would be simpler if it was a chocolate chip one, or party rings. Not that I don't like Hobnobs

I would make one but small resolutions do my head in

Biscuits seem to come in a bewildering variety of shapes and types. There's the biscuit we call "shortcake" as we pile strawberries and whipped cream on top of them. There are various types of rolls. Even hot cross buns could be called biscuits. You could consider a scone to be a type of biscuit. The sad part of a biscuit's life (to the extent that it has one) is that we rarely consider it to adequate by itself. The shortcake needs the strawberries and cream if it wants us to eat it. The hot cross buns would not get a second glance without the frosting on top. Perhaps there are people who don't put butter or jam on their scones, but I don't know how numerous they are. Heck, the scone's insecurities must be greatest of all, for they so often need to contain other ingredients (raisins, blueberries, even chocolate) in order to get people interested in eating them.

A biscuit's life is a drab one. Is there any surprise that the smiley gods have not yet smiled on it?

Under UK tax rules, most traditional bakery products such as bread, cakes, flapjacks and Jaffa Cakes are free of VAT, but the tax is payable on cereal bars, shortbread and partly-coated or wholly-coated biscuits.
So Jaffa Cakes look like biscuits, are baked like biscuits, feel like biscuits but are really cakes...and you always find them in the biscuit section.

they got round that one because they go hard when they are stale
as opposed to biscuits which go soft

How clever

I thought the defence was that they made a really big one, cut out a slice . They are like cake, but people don't notice them go missing because they're in the biscuit cupboard

If Marie Antoinette were around today she'd probably say, let them eat Jaffa Cake.

I don'tknow what Jaffa cakes are.

I heard it's a myth that she ever said anything like that.

She did say something about cake, but it wasn't the type of cake we usually think of. French bakers needed a buffer between the hot flames and the more moderate temperatures in the ovens. Therefore, they had a bottom level of batter that was allowed to get burned. On top of this layer they put the batter for the cakes they wanted to come out right. So, what marie Antoinette advocated was for the poor to eat the burned bottom level of batter. I'm sure that many of her countrymen took this as an insult.

: I is liking lemon and slime jaffa cakes

Yeah but you love the burnt bit of cake too

: I is liking as long as it is

We'll keep you mind if we ever burn a chocolate cake.