h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

mail on way kat

do you like Monty Pythons

all the sketches Kat
http://orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/index.htm
I'm away to kip flower, I'll see you later ok, sleep and dream well

I love Monty Python and when I can I watch it on tv.

Good night Animal

What do you get if you combine the following:

Words, Writing, Imagination and Research?

What to do if you have got 31 inch hips?

a funny word = wwir

someone else's body

Is there anyone here, there, overthere, somewhere else and not here.

Does anyone know the name of a white haired ice skating young looking male cosmologhists who is of Japenese extraction and was born and educated in the USA?

If there is anyone here, please knock once for yes and knock twice for no.

There were ten in a bed and the little one said
Roll over, roll over
So they all rolled over
And one fell out
There were nine in a bed and the little one said
Roll over, roll over
So they all rolled over
And one fell out
There were eight in a bed and the little one said
Roll over, roll over
So they all rolled over
And one fell out
There were seven in a bed and the little one said
Roll over, roll over
So they all rolled over
And one fell out
There were six in a bed and the little one said
Roll over, roll over
So they all rolled over
And one fell out
There were five in a bed and the little one said
Roll over, roll over
So they all rolled over
And one fell out
There were four in the bed and the little one said
Roll over, roll over
So they all rolled over
And one fell out
There were three in the bed and the little one said
Roll over, roll over
So they all rolled over
And one fell out
There were two in the bed and the little one said
Roll over, roll over
So they all rolled over
And one fell out
There was one in the bed and the little one said
Roll over, roll over
So they all rolled over
And he fell out
The were none in the bed and the bed went
Ping!
Just went!

It was a very big bed

How many Jedi does it take to change a light bulb?
>The bulb cannot be changed, for once it has turned to the dark side, forever will it dominate its destiny.
Luke Skywalker: "I don't need a lightbulb when I have a lightsaber!"
Han Solo: "Chewie! Get me a hydrospanner and a spare bulb... what do you mean, we're out of bulbs??"
Yoda: "Change the bulb you must, hmm?"
Obi-Wan Kenobi: "Use the gloves, Luke"
Darth Vader: He won't change the bulb, he wants everyone to join the dark side.
Emperor: "I had foreseen that the bulb would need replacement"
Stormtroopers: 39, one to change the bulb, 38 to get shot.
Ewoks: about 10-15 will do it.
Jabba the Hutt: He'll put out a bounty on the old lightbulb for failing him.
Boba Fett: He doesn't go after small fry.
Admiral Ackbar: "Prepare to change lightbulbs on my mark!"
Mon Mothma: "Many Bothan spies died changing this lightbulb"

Why Did the chicken cross the Road?

Luke: To go to Dagobah to be a Jedi like his father.

Han: I've got a bad feeling about this. . .

Leia: I know. Somehow. . . I've always known. . .

Darth Vader: He's as clumsy as he is stupid.

The Emperor: The chicken is walking into a trap. An entire legion of my best trucks awaits him.

Lando: It's not my fault!

R2-D2: Beep beep bip beoop blip.

Ben Kenobi: This is not the chicken you're looking for.

Stormtrooper: This is not the chicken we're looking for.

Yoda: No no, there is no why!

Jabba: Cheesa pee-cha wonkie chicken. Woo hoo hoo.

Boba Fett: What if he doesn't survive? He's worth alot to me.

Anakin: It's Obi-wan's fault! He was holding the chicken back!

Obi-wan: I hate it when he does that. . .

Padme: I truly. . . deeply. . . love chicken.

Yoda: The Dark Side clouds everything. Impossible to see, the chicken is.

Count Dooku: There are no chickens here that I am aware of; the Geonosians don't trust them.

Jango Fett: He's just a simple chicken trying to make his way in the universe.

General Grievous: *cough* I will add his lightsaber to my collection.

*cough* *cough wheeze* *gasp* *cough*

Jar-Jar Binks: Mesa don' knowsa why da chickensa crossing da roadsa.

Yoda: Hmmm. The chicken tried not. It did or did not.

Obi-Wan Kenobi Who is the more chicken? The chicken who stays, or the chicken who crosses the road?

Qui-Gon Jinn The chicken is the chosen one.

Darth Vader: The ability to cross the road is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Mace Windu: The party ended.

C-3PO: The odds of successfully crossing the road are 3,720 to one.

Padme: I was not elected to discuss this crossing in a committee!

Obi-Wan Kenobi: And there's a even greater danger; if this chicken escapes, he will return across another road.

Han: It's the chicken that made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs.

Nute Gunray: But, my lord, is crossing the road legal?

Red Three (Biggs Darklighter): This chicken is the fastest runner in
the outer rim territories.

Captain Typho: I'd be more worried about the duck crossing, than the chicken.

Darth Maul: At last we will reveal our motives to the chicken, at last we will cross the road.

Zam Wesell: It was a chicken from Naboo.

Wedge Antilles: Are you sure the chicken can cross it?

Madame Jocasta Nu: If the chicken does not appear across the road, it does not exist.

Luke: To pick up some power converters.

Anakin: I... I helped it. I helped it cross them all. And not just the roads. But the freeways... and the highways too.

Leia: General Rieekan thinks it's dangerous for any chickens to cross the road.

Palpatine: I will not let this mystery, which has stood for a thousand years, go unsolved. My investigations will not fail.

knock knock knock...Hello...anyone there?

Stephen

Hello Stephen It is wonderful to see you.

Kat, it is good to be back I can't stay on-line for too long however as I must get ready to go and see my GP today.

P.S. I saw Karen the other day and she asked me to say Hello to you for her and could you e-mail her please

Stephen

Stephen, I hope everything will go well when you see your GP today.<

I have e-mailed Karen.

Kat

A poet and a scientist were traveling together on a plane. The scientist was bored and said to the poet, "Hey, you, do you want to play a game? I'll ask you a question, and if you get it wrong, you give me £5. Then, you ask me a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you £5."
The poet thought about this for a moment, but he decided against it, seeing that the scientist was obviously a very bright man. He politely turned down the scientist's offer.
The scientist, who was really bored, tried again. "Look, I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me £5. Then you ask me a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you £50."
The poet agreed. "Okay," the scientist said, "what is the exact distance between the Earth and the Moon?"
The poet, obviously not knowing the answer, didn't stop to think about the scientist's question. He took a $5 bill out of his pocket and handed it to the scientist.
The scientist happily accepted the bill and promptly said, "Okay, now it's your turn."
The poet thought about this for a few minutes, then asked, "All right, what goes up a mountain on three legs, but comes down on four?"
The bright glow quickly vanished from the scientist's face. He thought about this for a long time, taking out his notepad and making numerous calculations. He finally gave up on his notepad and took out his laptop, using his Multimedia Encyclopedia. As the plane was landing the scientist gave up. He reluctantly handed the poet a £50 bill.
The poet accepted it graciously, getting ready to stand up. "Wait!" the scientist shouted, "you can't do this to me! What's the answer?"
The poet looked at the scientist and calmly put a £5 bill into his hand.

Q: Why do koalas carry babys on their backs?
A: Because they cant push prams up a tree!

Q.why do kangeroo's hate rainy days?
A.becuase their kid's play inside

What did the kangaroo say on new year's eve. Hoppy new year

Muttering to myself about is there anyone on the other side!

Is there anyone there!

Please knock once for yes and knock twice for no.